Perennial

Chapter 19 -- Perennial

First thing upon getting back, I put on some dry pajamas and crawl onto the bottom bunk. I don't bother with brushing my teeth or hair or washing my face. I'd, much, much, rather just lay here and stare into space.

I stay there as time ticks on.

As things turned out, Psaqua wasn't waiting for me when I got back, much to my surprise. It's not Wednesday. She's usually here first.

But I'm not one to complain. It's rare for me to get any alone time to sort out my thoughts.

I feel so drained and unsure. I don't know what to do now that I know DSHA possibly has the means to take away my powers. Is there anything I can do?

Psaqua comes back in good time, a few minutes before curfew.

Her face lights up when she sees me. "Perennial, there you are! Did Aether catch up to you in time? We were worried about you."

She takes off her filter and sets it on her dresser. She begins sifting for her own pajamas.

"Yeah." I nod, not sure what else there is to say. The secrets I learned today are more Aether's than my own. If he wants Psaqua to know about them, he'll tell her when the time is right.

"Did anything.... happen?" Psaqua turns around, a sly grin reaching her features.

I frown. "What, exactly, are you implying?"

Her eyes are innocent. "Nothing... it's just that he's a nice person, and you're not, and opposites attract."

I blink. "Did you just insult me? I'm impressed."

Psaqua laughs. "I was hoping you'd focus more on the 'opposites attract' part."

Opposites attract?

Oh.

Is she... implying... that Aether and I... would make a good couple? Like, a real couple?

I have to admit, the thought never occurred to me before.

Don't get me wrong, I don't not like Aether, but there are more important things on my mind right now than romance. An example of which would be my internal crisis over the continuation of the Cold War experiments.

I shake my head. "Nothing happened, if that's what you're asking. He just wanted to make sure I didn't get lost on the way back."

Psaqua laughs again. "You can't remember the way back? Oh, sure, I believe you."

My cheeks grow hot and I feel the need to defend myself. "Hey, I have a terrible sense of direction!"

"I'm sure you always have a terrible sense of direction whenever Aether's nearby." Psaqua slyly comments.

I decide that this conversation is getting tedious.

"I have an idea. How about we change the subject?" I suggest.

"Fine." Psaqua dramatically rolls her eyes and begins to gather up the rest of her things for her nightly routine. Over my time here I've observed that my roommate is a creature of habit.

I remain silent for a moment, my thoughts turning back to Eclipse and her demise.

I wonder what I would do if something like that happened to one of my parents. I can't even imagine what it would be like.

I glance over to Psaqua, for the first time curious about her life before Icarus. Does she have parents? Siblings? Does she get along with them?

"Do you ever think about your family?" I ask suddenly.

Psaqua turns to look at me, surprise gracing her features. She responds slowly. "Yes. I think about them a lot."

"Do they ever write or call or... however it is people with family communicate around here?" I ask.

"We don't talk as often as I'd like. I miss them," she says.

"Maybe your aim will improve." I mutter (mostly to myself) after a moment. But apparently Psaqua heard me, because she turns around once again to glare at me, all while obviously trying not to laugh.

I look away, trying not to smile.

I listen as my roommate goes back to rummaging for who knows what. (What did she lose this time?)

She finds whatever it is and makes her way to our bathroom. She pauses just before she crosses the threshold.

"Are you okay?" Her voice is laced with concern.

I finally look back up at her. "Yes? Why?"

"You seem... pensive," she says.

"Do I?" I frown. This isn't the first time I've been told something to that effect, just... not since coming here. Jason and our cousins aren't around to call me out.

I wonder what my face must look like in order to give off that impression.

"Yes." Psaqua narrows her eyes, almost as if she's trying to focus so that she can see into my soul.

That's another thing I've noticed about my roommate: her desire to understand and decipher the people around her. I would say it's almost like a game (for me, at least). If she can predict or decipher you, she wins. If I can somehow baffle her, I win.

So far, I'd like to say she's always lost to me, but it'll only be so long before that is no longer the case. She'll win eventually, I'm sure. After all, she's as patient and persistent as water, her psychokinetic element.

"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

I stare at her for several long moments, wondering what I could possibly say that would make sense, and not give away anything.

An idea (one that will likely prove unsuccessful) occurs to me.

I blurt it out before I try to stop myself. "I'll tell you what's wrong if you tell me where you've been Wednesday nights."

Psaqua frowns. She's trying to keep her cool. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because I'm curious. Where've you been?"

"I've been getting fresh air," she says, shifting on the balls of her feet.

"Yeah, because getting fresh air usually lasts for over three hours," I mutter under my breath.

But, like a good mom, Psaqua hears me anyway.

"Yes! It does sometimes!" She seems irritated now.

"No, not the way you've been disappearing all these weeks. You need to tell me what's going on. Not knowing is driving me crazy."

"No, it's not," she sighs, turning away. "Look, maybe it's time we both went to bed."

She's trying to escape so she can avoid answering me. That's a tactic I've used frequently in the past. (And still use quite often.)

"You're a Level 60 telepath." I say as she starts to close the door. "You could easily know all of my secrets already. It's only fair that I know one of yours."

She pauses.

I imagine that if the thought had never crossed her mind - that is, if finding out all my secrets had never crossed her mind - she'd be very angry with me right now. She would turn around and vehemently deny everything, and then chew me out for being so presumptuous.

But she doesn't.

Which means that she has, at the very least, considered hacking my mind to find out everything about me, if she hasn't already.

"I haven't told them anything, if that's what you're worried about," she says instead.

My brow shoots up. Is that what she's been doing? She's been reporting to DSHA? I didn't see that one coming. I was expecting something more along the lines of "secret boyfriend".

She sets her stuff down on the counter and comes back to stand in the doorway, arms folded, looking directly at me.

"I don't sell secrets, Elaine."

The sound of my name - my real name - slams into me with the force of a slap.

"But I was asked to keep an eye on you. They think you're unpredictable and they're scared of what you might do next. Your past is a mystery. You're an unknown variable. Still, anyone with M powers is an asset to DSHA, so they let you into Icarus. They just don't trust you is all."

"But you haven't told them everything?"

She shakes her head. "I just tell them you're content and making good progress."

"Every week?"

"Every week. Sometimes I tell them you're probably not as special as they think you are. Just to get some of the heat off your back, you know?" she says.

"So you're lying to DSHA... why? Psaqua, I hate to break this to you, but I'm a threat to national security."

She shrugs. "What do I care? I hate DSHA anyway."

Her declaration leaves me stunned.

Seeing my confusion, she leans against the doorframe and starts to explain. "My mom is a norm. She doesn't have any powers. She travels a lot for her work as a translator for DSHA, but her home is in Paradis. I can only visit her when she's in the area, which is less and less these days. My dad... he died when I was six. When he didn't come home from his mission that time, they told us that one of Phobos' people killed him. DSHA sent him on that mission. They took both my parents away from me." She shakes her head, then adds more quietly, "Why would I love something that took my family away from me?"

I don't say anything, but I know the feeling. I had no idea it was something Psaqua and I had in common.

"There was a security breach in the staff building today, on Megan's computer. That's why I was late getting here. Meg and I covered for you."

"Why?" I can somewhat understand why Psaqua might cover for me, but Megan?

"It was Eclipse's file, wasn't it?" Psaqua says. "I overheard them talking. Eclipse was Meg's mother. Did you find out about the Ability Negation?"

"How did you know?"

She shrugs. It's an awkward shrug, given she's still leaning against the door frame. "Megan explained it to me afterward. She has it too. That's why we can't read her mind."

"And Aether?"

"He's a fluke of genetics. He apparently has a recessive negation gene that's potent enough to keep us out of his head."

"Anything else?" I ask, bewildered that all this time, all these pieces that have fallen into my lap were so easy to put together and I somehow missed it.

"Do you think the Overlord knows the experiments are still going?"

I jolt at the mention of the Overlord. She knows about him too?

I inwardly scoff at myself. Of course she knows about him. If she knows my name, she knows about the Overlord.

As for the answer to her question, does the Overlord know the experiments are still going on? I'm not sure. He's the only person I know whom I've never been able to either predict or define. He's the only person I know who's better at holding secrets than I am.

"I don't know." I finally admit.

"Does he know DSHA might have figured out a way to take away our powers?"

"I don't know."

"He needs to know. Especially if that Divya Charles woman is elected to Senate. She's leading an anti-super-human movement," Psaqua says.

Now I'm confused. "Who's Divya Charles?"

"Do you pay attention to politics at all?"

Not really. I shake my head.

"She wants to put together special units specifically designed to deal with domestic super-human threats."

"Do senators even have the power to do that?" I ask, skeptical.

"Never underestimate anyone, Elaine," Psaqua says with a sigh.

We don't speak for a moment as the gears in my mind slowly turn. "So... you want me to escape?"

"I think that if you still have a family to run home to, you should do it. Don't sacrifice any more time you might have had with them." She gives me a rueful smile. "I'll even help you if you need an accomplice."

I blink, wanting to be incredulous, but at the same time knowing Psaqua is telling the truth. "Really?"

"If I had a real family waiting for me out there, I would have broken out myself a long time ago." She smiles a little more and tilts her head. "Trust me."

"Helping me could get you in trouble if we're caught."

"I'm willing to take the risk. It would be my pleasure." She stands up straight, letting her arms fall loosely to her sides.

I guess... I have an ally now. A wry grin reaches my features. I have an ally, and the start of an escape plan mapped out in my mind. We'll need to act fast, though, before winter gets here.

Before she retreats back into the bathroom, she says, "My name is Sueña, by the way. Sueña Atwood."

The door closes with a click.