"1...2...3" I squeeze my eyes shut and wait, I end up covering my ears. It feels like an eternity. I feel Kate's hand on my shoulder, I open my eyes and see her frown and shake her head. I all I can do is nod as they leave, I sit in the usual spot next to her bed and talk to her.
"Hey Ash, I'm sorry I haven't been around I fell asleep to my mum talking about her book club. I guess 'The Fault In Our Stars' is a good book," I lightly laugh, "I had an interview two days ago, they asked me why I jumped in that ambulance. Management thought it be okay to tell them you were a family member but when the time came I couldn't do it. I told them you were my girlfriend and Emily was just a friend and that's why we never kissed." I take a deep breath. "The fans are being surprisingly supportive, some have dropped flowers off at the front although they ask for a twitter follow but I don't mind." I grab her hand, I take another deep breath as I grasp her hand.
"Mum sends her love and prayers, everyone does. The lads are sorry that they can't be here a lot. When you wake we're going to your favorite spot, the café. Remember our first date? I was so nervous I ordered the wrong thing; I was only able to take 2 bites of that garlic bread sandwich till you took it out of my hands and threw it. I guess you can always read my mind." I rub over her knuckles.
"I passed by the jeweler store today, I saw this beautiful necklace that reminded me of you. It had red and white diamonds, then your voice came in and told me you'd feel bad about the cost but I imagine me finally persuading you to put it on and once you have it o I make you promise to never take it off or it would break my heart, but it probably wouldn't hurt my heart more than seeing you like this." My head feels heavy and hangs low.
"I don't want to cry anymore, I want you to wake up knowing I was your rock. It gets harder every second. Liam told me all about how you waited up for me on our anniversary, but I never showed up because Emily and I had a showing to go to. I feel like an arse not calling you for not seeing what Emily was doing." I can feel the stinging again, I try and change the subject.
"Christmas is a month away. I wish I would have asked you what you wanted before all of this. I know what I want, I want to hear your voice, see your beautiful brown eyes, feel your warm fingers hold my hand or just brush mine, I want to see your long curly hair blow in the wind and make you fuss when it gets in your face, I wish for your smile and your laugh." My eyes blur with the tears I've been so hard trying to hold back.
"Ashley for Christmas I just want you, whether you remember me or not I just need you. Damn it Ashley I can't do this anymore." My eyes go against my will and blink letting the water fall warm over my cheeks. My body shakes with emotion. I let go of her hand and walk to the bathroom, my eyes are red with black creeping at the bottom from lack of sleep. I slash water on my face and stay hunched over the sink for a while to calm my heart beat.
Once calm and breathing normally I walk over to my guitar, I sit back in my chair and take my third deep breath.
(Play Half A Heart whilst reading and get the full moment. Enjoy)
"Only half a blue sky
kinda there but not quite
I'm walking around with just one shoe
I'm half a heart without you
I'm half a man at best
With half an arrow in my chest
I miss everything we do,
I'm half a heart without you
Forget all we said that night
No, it doesn't even matter
'Cause we both got split in two
If you could spare an hour or so,
We'll go for lunch down by the river
We can really talk it through
And being here without you is like I'm waking up to
Only half a blue sky
kinda there but not quite
I'm walking around with just one shoe
I'm half a heart without you
I'm half a man at best
With half an arrow in my chest
I miss everything we do,
I'm half a heart without you
Half a heart without you,
I'm half a heart without you
Though I try to get you out of my head
The truth is I got lost without you
And since then I've been waking up to
Only half a blue sky
kinda there but not quite
I'm walking around with just one shoe
I'm half a heart without you
I'm half a man at best
With half an arrow in my chest
I miss everything we do,
I'm half a heart without you
Without you, without you, half a heart without you, without you, without you, I'm half a heart without you"
I close my eyes and set my guitar down. The tears stopped as I began to sing. I kiss her hand and lay my head on her palm. I shut my eyes whilst rubbing my hand over the blanket that covers her legs.
Ashley's hand twitches again and I almost jump up but I remember Kate said it was the body's natural reaction. I rub my head against her palm, then her fingers curl. I try to fall asleep but then her nails scratch my head again and again and on the third one I lift my head up.
I sprit to the door and look both ways down the halls and spot Kate half way down. I practically run like I'm trying to win a marathon, when I finally reach Kate I'm out of breath.
"Niall wha-,"
"Just...come...room." I try to say as much as I can before Kate runs with me back to the room. When we get there Ashley's heart monitor is beating like crazy. Her eyes are looking around and she's trying to lift her arms but Kate forces them down and straps them to the bed. Her chest rises fast and the beeping fills the room. For the first time in 2 months I finally see her brown eyes as they dart out to me.
YOU ARE READING
Little White Lies
FanfictionSEXUAL PLEASE BE ADVISE He thinks it was a harmless little lie, but what happens when his little white lie gets out.
