Wrecked

The boy who needed her help

"There is one thing you could do." Jesse pushed himself up from the bed, walking over to where I kept all the supplies. His hands reached for certain items piling them up as I pushed myself up from the bed slowly.

Our break hadn't lasted long, all but two minutes of the two of us lying on our backs- our eyes admiring the night sky with eyes of wonder. I could feel the arms of sleep pulling me under, my mind completely free from the grip of worry for a brief second. But that didn't last, Jesse's sudden move had jolted me out of that state.

"What would that be?" I watched as he turned back towards me, his arms full of supplies with his chin holding it all in his arms.

I immediately jumped up, pulling it from his arms as I could feel concern radiating from me. My eyes met his with questions and curiosity, but he just ignored me- sitting back down on the bed as if nothing had happened.

My hands searched everything that I had taken from him; alcohol, rags, a bunch of the healing herbs and my sewing kit. At the sight of that, it all made sense.

"Your side, I saw it in the clearing." My mind spoke aloud as it spoke to itself, my words coming out in a breath. For only a millisecond I froze, my mind not telling me what to do.

But that didn't last very long, my body rushed forward to sit on the stump in front of him. We had been in this position before but today the roles were reversed.

He had already reached for his shirt and raised it, exposing the puckered up and pus covered wound I had seen earlier that day. As soon as I inspected it further I released a breath of relief, this would be an easy fix.

I dragged my gaze up to his; I could feel the hope in my eyes settle him- calming him almost immediately. His body relaxed, releasing from the tensed state he had been in moments before.

His eyes told me he had been worried it was bad; that he hadn't kept this to him self out of fear. I watched as his lips emit a small breath, my own lips replicating that action.

"Did I scare you Dru?" He commented on my obvious reprieve. His eyes shining with amusement down at mine. I ground my back teeth together, stopping myself from biting back at the boy.

Ignoring him, I got to work on his side. I dabbed the skin around it carefully, careful not to touch his skin with my own. I could feel myself itching to snap back at him- to not let him have the last word.

I had almost forgotten the anger he stirred up within me. I hadn't missed it, the knot deep in my stomach that churned when he spoke, the way I felt like I wasn't in control of my own actions any more.

In the mess of trying to find him, worrying about his life I had forgotten that there was more to Jesse than the boy who helped me keep people alive. He was still the boy who hated me guts, hated me for not being able to save everyone.

I know that when he said the crash wasn't my fault he meant it, when he said he trusted me and needed me he meant it. I knew all too well, because I felt the same way.

I know that he had forgiven me, tried to lighten to load on my shoulders. But I also knew that Jesse was also the boy whose sister I killed, the boy who wanted to keep everyone alive just as much as I did and so far only one of us was failing. Even if he thought he had forgiven me, I could never accept such forgiveness- because our clear bond was obviously clouding his judgement.

I moved on to the sewing kit, threading the thread threw the tiny hole of the needle. I didn't look up to see Jesse, but I could feel his hesitation radiating off his body. His lower abdominals had tensed up, as had his arms- I could see the veins bolded as his fingers clung to the bed.