"harry"
courtney i have a problem
whats wrong?
sent 6:57 am
"harry"
so i just went to the toilet and i needed to clean my bum and there were two different soaps and so i accidentally chose the wrong soap and. ow my bum stings
HARRY WTF
sent 6:59 am
DID YOU CLEAN IT WITH LIKE HAND SOAP?!
Sent 7:00 am
"harry"
yeah. it was some dial stuff and then something from victoria's secret
oh my gosh harry. neither of those soaps are supposed to go near your freaking asshole.
sent 7:03 am
how did you accidentally choose one to clean your asshole with when neither one of them should be anywhere near your asshole??
sent 7:05 am
"harry"
wait i can't use dial on my bum?
no harry you can't
sent 7:06 am
its an antibacterial soap
sent 7:06 am
why should that go anywhere near your ass?
sent 7:07 am
it clearly says "hand soap"
sent 7:08 am
"harry"
cause i just shit! if i can use it on an open wound i can use it on my bum. i do it all the time.
"harry"
kill off al those nasty bum bacterias 💩
youre going to kill me one day
sent 7:11 am
like im gonna die prematurely because you stress me out so much
sent 7:12 am
you are NOT supposed to clean your freaking asshole with dial hand soap
sent 7:12 am
"harry"
then wtf do i use?!
"harry"
theres no asshole soap!
WATER
sent 7:14 am
WATER CLEANS YOU JUST FINE
sent 7:15 am
"harry"
thats not gonna make it smell fresh though!
yes harry. fresh. thats exactly what a girl wants when she licks your asshole.
sent 7:17 am
"wow harry! your asshole smells EXACTLY like the soap i use to wash my hands with after i pee! gee whiz wollykers im so turned on right now!"
sent 7:18 am
"harry"
uh rude
"harry"
my bum still burns
harry. just rinse it off with water please.
sent 7:19 am
"harry"
.......okay fine
thank you. you dont need to be fresh.
sent 7:20 am
YOU ARE READING
texting harry styles
Fanfictionunknown number: is this courtney me: who the fuck is this unknown number: hi im harry (: ஃ ஃ ஃ lowercase intentional. would recommend to read this on the scrolling mode if you're on your phone. makes the entire thing seem more realistic (:
