It Destroys You

Chapter 8

"There's always going to be that one thing you hate but can't change, that one mistake you can't take back and that one memory you would do anything to have again." After the Storm: IWannaBeMe.

8. Make It Happen

The first thought that came to my mind when I awoke from my slumber was 'What did she do next?' I wanted to know Vanessa's thoughts and feelings on the situation and how exactly she handled it. So, I rose from my bed and felt all of my muscles strain from my sixteen hour sleep. 

Yesterday, after I'd confronted Delante, I'd moved towards my room and stayed there all night. My stomach growled with hunger and I grimaced. I hadn't even brushed my teeth. Yuck. I stood up and stretched and walked to the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth. When I finished, I creamed my skin, blow dried my hair, leaving it in a mass of curls and put olive oil in it before changing into blue skinny jeans, an off white oversized sweater with a blue jean vest placed over the top and my plain black Converses. I sprayed perfume on myself and grabbed my low luxury bag, remembering to place Vanessa's diary in it. 

I don't know exactly where I was headed or what I was planning to do next but I just felt like walking, getting some fresh air and being able to just .. breath. The streets were littered with people of all different ages and all different races. Laughter filled the air, along with the chatter of the citizens. The smell of donuts and coffee filled the air as I passed a small cafe and I knew that leaving the flat was definitely worth it. 

I missed my family so much. I missed my mother always calling me to get things down from high places as she couldn't reach it or seeing the smiles on Michael and Kayla's face as Jerome once again, did something to embarass himself. I smiled at the thought of them all, missing the sounds of their voices and just seeing their faces. I knew that they'd be happy now in a big house with food to eat and each of them having their own rooms, just like they'd all wanted. My mother, being the amazing woman she is, had probably donated half of the money to charity's all over Britain. She was my hero and always would be. 

I found myself in another small cafe, on the street corner. It was practically empty, except for a few people who were reading and on their laptops in different sections of the place. Bean bags were everywhere on the floors, along with coffee tables that just passed my knees in one section of the cafe, chairs and tables on another corner and sofa's on the last corner. I ordered myself a coffee and a slice of chocolate cake that looked so delicious before moving towards a single table and pulling out Vanessa's diary.

December 18, 1989

Dear daddy, 

I feel so lost. I feel abandoned. I feel as though my walls, guarding my emotions are starting to rebuild themselves. The same walls that Kaleb had knocked down, freeing what I felt for him. He's still not home and I'm so worried, papa. I was angry about the drug thing but the worry I now have for Kaleb overshadowed my anger. That fact itself shows me that I don't care, daddy. I don't care about his business because my feelings for Kaleb are so strong that nothing can break us. Not even my passionate hatred for drugs. I love Kaleb, papa. I really do. I miss him.

Love, Vanessa. 

I bit my lip and thought to myself. Vanessa knew that she was going to be with Kaleb for the rest of her life so she took it upon herself to learn to love him. Now that she did actually love him, the drugs are nothing compared to her love for Kaleb. 

December 24, 1989

Dear daddy, 

It's Christmas Eve. He's still not home. Trisha knows where he is but she's just not telling me. I wish you were here with me, papa. I miss you. I love you.