There was confusion in the eyes of the seven year old Surangi as they dipped mango leaves into the sandal-turmeric paste to anoint her. She did not know what marriage meant, she was just told that she would move into a new home in a village far away...
"Why are you sitting here with a long face?" Madhav asked Surangi who was perched on a seat by a low window, clutching her writing slate. It was unlike her to confine herself to a quiet corner of the house unnoticed. She was usually with the ladies of the house, especially Vidya, or was playing in the yard with the young girls in the neighbourhood. When Madhav noticed Surangi's absence he went looking for her and was surprised to find her sitting alone. He didn't know why but he made it his business to know her whereabouts at all times and this was an unlikely place for her to be in.
"I was just doing my school homework!" She replied. The tone of her voice told Madhav that she was not the usually effervescent Surangi "Are you feeling unwell?" He asked out of concern. Although he often found her annoyingly stubborn it was disconcerting to see her verve missing. "I am fine!" She replied, but avoided looking at him, making him notice her even more. "Surangi, out with it or I am telling mother that you are acting weird!" He knew how to elicit the truth from her, she would not want Yashoda involved.
"You don't need to bother Sasubai, I am quite well. I am just.....I miss my home, my mother. It has been three months since we got married, I haven't seen my father since the wedding. Besides, they don't let us near Vidya tai's baby, I am so eager to meet him!" She spoke softly but conveyed enough for Madhav to know why she had been sitting so morosely. "Silly girl, for a few days after birth, mother and baby are in confinement to protect them from the risk of infection. A visitor may pass on their germs unwittingly! You can handle the baby after the naming ceremony!" He explained.
"Even I know that, but I am quite healthy, how can I make the baby sick? When I hear him cry I just feel like holding him close and comforting him!" She admitted. "Babies nearly always cry when they soil themselves or when they are feeling hungry or uncomfortable. You will be of no help in these matters. And Vidya tai needs to recover fully, childbirth can be exhausting. Plus the baby needs feeding and cleaning every couple of hours, she is busy caring for him as well as catching up on lost sleep!" Madhav knew his words would make no difference, and that Surangi would persist with her childish whim of being near the infant.
The barsa or naming ceremony was to happen on baby's twelfth day. Surangi could barely focus in school that day, she wanted to be present when the newborn had his first encounter with visitors. The child would get his own name as well as plenty of blessings. After school she rushed homeward as quickly as possible. Both Madhav and Waman were amused to see her match their pace, on other days they had to wait for her to catch up. Once home she ate a hurried lunch and even choked on her food, only to be told off by grandmother. "Patience is a cardinal virtue for anyone who dreams of being a mother. Slow down a bit, remember Madhav and you are the baby's godparents! You need to set an example for the young one!" Aaji told the sheepish Surangi who mumbled an apology.
The previous day she had eagerly teamed up with Waman to go from house to house, inviting the ladies for the barsa. The house was cleaned thoroughly for the occasion. Surangi helped the boys deck the baby's cradle with flowers and they hung garlands called toran on the doorway. Sharayu made colourful patterns on the floor using rangoli powder just as Yashoda finished making snacks for the visitors. After their purifying bath Vidya draped a rich saree and the baby was dressed in new clothes and a silken brocade-edge bonnet called kunchi.
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The women and girls began arriving and were welcomed by the family members. It was customary to fill the new mother's lap with grains of rice, coconut and a bodice fabric. The baby received many sets of layette clothes, it was a custom to wait until the barsa to present new clothes to a baby. He was also given many silver articles and cash presents. The older ladies passed him to each other under and over the cradle singing "Govind ghya, Gopal ghya!" (Here, receive Lord Krishna!). The child was then placed in the cradle and since his father's sister was unable to attend the ceremony Sharayu was asked to whisper his name in his ear.
The name had been chosen after astrological consultation following tradition."Your name is Gajanan!" Sharayu whispered into the baby's ear and the name was then announced to all accompanied by pedha or milk fudge. There was a volley of appreciative remarks like "congratulations", "very appropriate to name him after Lord Ganesh, our favourite deity!", etc as the children distributed the pedhas. Surangi and Sharayu offered haldi-kumkum and fragrant blossoms to the ladies as they sat exchanging gossip and woes ranging from truant maids to unscrupulous daughters-in-law. Snacks and mango sherbet were then passed around.
Some speculated about whether the baby resembled the mother or the father and others offered a word of advice on caring for him."Drishta kadha go balachi!" The matriarchs of the neighbourhood warned Yashoda to ward off any evil eye cast on the baby by some random person. The fear of the unknown made women paranoid and a ritual involving some salt and mustard seeds was performed to protect the concerned individual from harm. Vidya took the baby indoors to nurse him and by the time he fell asleep the guests had left for their homes. The family tidied up and sat down for dinner.
After dinner Vidya called Surangi over to her room, she knew the girl had been waiting to have access to her and the baby. "Come in Surangi, Madhav!" Vidya welcomed them with betel leaf parcels filled with fresh coconut, mild spices and gulkand or rose-petal preserve. She knew Surangi enjoyed these immensely. Surangi crunched on the juicy sweet treat happily while Vidya showed her an antique silver rattle that Yashoda had unearthed and cleaned for the baby. "Did you know this was Madhav's favourite when he was a baby?" Vidya smiled as she addressed Surangi.
"It has a whistle too!" Surangi remarked. "It has been in our family for generations, it is truly an heirloom and someday when your babies come they too can play with it!" Vidya told her and the little girl blushed while Madhav rolled his eyes. "Tai, could you please teach me how to knit with wool?" Surangi tried to change the topic, she knew Vidya was knitting a set of woollens for the baby. "First learn to master arithmetic, there will be time enough to wield a pair of knitting needles!" Madhav remarked. "Madhava, she is your wife, not your pupil, let her follow her heart!" Vidya smiled to see Surangi's eyes light up.
"And you Vahini bai, my brother is a brilliant scholar! You are lucky to have him tutor you, so make the most of it!" She gently reminded the young couple of their obligation toward one another. "Trust me Tai I won't neglect my studies, but you must let me play with the baby when he is not sleeping!" Surangi said cheerfully. "Sure you can, but now run along both of you, you don't want to go to bed too late!" Surangi and Madhav left Vidya's room and went to finish some school work before going off to sleep. For Surangi the day was well spent, her wait was over and she could start spending time with the newest member of the family.
