Hermes | Book 1

: 23 :

Sit still and listen
you can hear the voice of the dark
she speaks not a word
but she talks all the time

Chapter 23

ASTA NEVER forgot Charlie.

Even when there came a point in her life where the whole world had abandoned her, he was there to make her smile and hold her hand and take her to wherever she wished.

When the world plunged into a dark, depressing spiral of misery, Charlie was her only anchor to sanity.

And when Asta's mind plagued her with images that made her scream and cry, she had fought against it with all she had. She had fought against it because she knew that Charlie would never want her to stop trying, he couldn't bear to see her stop fighting for herself.

Charlie was the only human on earth who had seen what Asta truly was and embraced all of her with a kind of love that she had never experienced before. He had made her feel wanted and he had made her feel special; Asta could never forget the feeling of being near Charlie.

That terrifying sense of excitement that stared from the very pit of her stomach and tickled the back of her throat and made the hairs at the back of her neck raise, a sense of fullness in her heart and the comforting scent of smoke and linen.

It was all coming back to her in full force now as Charlie's forehead touched hers, him leaning on her as she sat precariously on the edge of his car.

His dark hair, the colour of freshly polished wood, brushed against her forehead, making the atmosphere a little too humid. The air around them was supposed to be cold, but she felt like it was a thousand degrees around her.

Aware of every movement Charlie made- his left hand holding her right and his right rubbing circles on her back- Asta carefully noted his closed eyes and his peaceful breathing pattern.

Her eyes unconsciously found his lips, her mind matching with the image in front of her, tracing every curvature and every shade.

"Asta," Charlie broke the silence suddenly, his deep voice shaking her awake from the dreamlike state they were in.

She didn't say a word and instead chose to admire the changing colours of his eyes and tried to give a name for the emotions that rushed through them.

Suddenly Charlie leaned in, his breath a sudden source of heat from the cold and then his lips were pressed against the corner of her cracked lips. She found her hands finding the base of his neck and then slowly, but fiercely pulled him down towards her.

Electricity sprung at the friction between their lips, the unbending excitement that appeared more strongly than ever every time this happened at the bottom of her stomach and the strong clarity of seeing the world through a clear lens after being surrounded mist and fog for so long.

Asta couldn't forget this, she couldn't forget Charlie because he jolted something in her that had stayed in the darkness for too long.

"Asta," Charlie said again, when they pulled away for frantic gulps of cool air. He said it like it was the key to all of his troubles, like it was the most precious thing that he had ever seen.

"Asta." Through the wind that howled around them and pushed towards each other with brutal force she heard her name. The ground rushed to meet them, embrace them, crush them and yet in the midst of all that she heard his voice that vibrated through her very bones.

Her blood thrummed in response, her mind in agreement.

Hermes said uttered her name like he had somehow managed to map out her entire being into that one word. Suddenly in that moment, Asta was no longer a name.

She had become Asta, Asta had become her. They were in that infinitive second, one and the same.

And when Hermes had called out to her, every part of her, she had responded. She had responded back with the only thing she could give him: his identity just as he had given hers.

"Shh," Asta said focusing on Charlie's breathing pattern, his lips, his smile, his half dimple on the left side of his cheek. She leaned in again just at the same time he did.

Unspoken words passed between them, each more frantic than the other, but never to be uttered.

I missed you.

I missed you.

I missed you.

I love you.

Asta could feel his familiar fingers find the back of her blouse. She herself had one hand clutched tightly in the front of his shirt. A smile curved her lips.

"You confuse me." She couldn't see Hermes. She had taken so much care to not get attached to him, but his voice rolled like a gentle afternoon wave into her ears.

"Stop." Asta suddenly said, struggling out of Charlie's grip.

"What's wrong?" The hurt in his voice was like a thousand knife wounds to her heart  and mind.

"Not now," she said quietly. There was too much to do, she was shouldering too many responsibilities. She could never love him they way he did her until she was completely free of everything. Even that blonde haired man with his golden yellow eyes was a pair of shackles that didn't let her love Charlie nearly enough.

"I have some things to finish."

"Hermes?" Charlie asked. Asta couldn't recognize the tone of his voice.

She shook her head. "Something at home."

"You need to go back," said Charlie sadly.

"I will come back." Asta promised, her hand clutching his tightly. He squeezed hers, once, then twice. "I always do."

Charlie smiled, a breathtaking smile that gave her the greatest joy in the universe. It didn't matter if she didn't have anyone else in the world, as long as she had Charlie, she could never be alone.

"And the next I come," Asta looked earnestly into his eyes. "I'll be back for good."

"I'll always wait for you," was all that Charlie said before he kissed her brow and they walked back to the inside of their car and went back to Julianna's home, back to Hermes.