You Don't Come Close.

5

We went straight to bed and against the little hope I tried to deny, both of us in our own beds.

Now I can hear Axls steady breath, as he, against his usual behavior, already felt asleep. Or at least just pretends. I can't sleep, but keep on drinking from the bottle beside my bed to fuel the opportunity to just pass out without any more thinking.

Kissing was nice. Kissing was damn arousing. Be near to him and feel and smell him. I wanna touch my lips with my fingers, but I don't, instead just lick my bottom lip.

There's still the taste of Axls lips lingering on them and suddenly I'm afraid of tomorrow. Because the taste will be gone and the memory will vanish. I have the sudden impulse to walk over to him, grab his neck and kiss him again, but I don't dare.

I don't even really know what I want, but I know that I can just find out how far I wanna go with him by trying. So Adriana has to come. I'm pretty sure we won't try anything on our own back in L.A. It's my last chance.

'See you tomorrow guys', she had said. But that's no promise, it's not making me feel save. I need that chance . I. just. need. it.

'I wanna lick him all over'...I'm slightly embarrassed of my own thoughts now. I really wanted that, but I'm not horny, so the seconds thoughts are back. Just as expected.

He looked so sexy down there in my lap.

The way he let me touch his face, the way he looked at me when he caught me staring at his lips, the way he felt against my chest, his head in my hands. In my mind it wasn't Adriana that made me come, but Axl. Just Axl. And I'm sure that I fucking lost my mind.

I take a last sip of my bottle, then cuddle into the sheets, trying to shove all the fucking, annoying and nagging thoughts away and get a little chance of some sleep.

--------------------

The last day in the studio is a good one. We don't talk much, it's a little awkward, but instead of being distracted all the time, we throw ourselves into work, eagerly trying to get everything ready in time.

It's mostly listening, discussing, remixing, listening again. We're not really doing anything, but it's exhausting to concentrate all the time, to not loose patience, but in the end we're very pleased with the result.

We call Izzy from the studio to show him. Then Izzy calls the others and they are calling the studio to hear it as well. I'm sure they don't hear much through the phone, but we are satisfied, so they are as well, cause' we all share the same idea of the right Guns sound.

Duff is so drunk he keeps on slurring into the phone, calling from somewhere with so much background noise, he can't be able to hear anything, but he freaks out, until we just hang him up.

I'm constantly looking on the watch and I see Axl also doing it from time to time.

Alan and Tom are pleased with us and even more pleased when they ask Axl if we're going out and he denies. They are stunned when I deny as well and for a short second I think we are too obvious so I add a murmured, "going to get drunk at the hotel" and they nod.

The way back is quiet and it's even quieter when we are there, sitting on the couch, drinking. I grab my guitar to soothe me and experiment, while Axl watches TV on his back, head hanging upside down form the couch, his hair touching the ground.

It looks uncomfortable, but I say nothing. There's nothing to say. We are both waiting. And he can't tell me otherwise.

We wait for an hour. Then I can sense Axl getting slightly pissed.