You Don't Come Close.

10

I've been asleep for a long time I think, as when I woke up it's dark outside again, probably in the middle of the night. Axl lays on his side, as far away from me as he can, face turned to the wall and I'm angry. It comes suddenly and overwhelmingly,stinging deep down in my guts. It's mixed up with bittersweet sadness, disappointment. But mostly anger that's making me hopeless in that stubborn kind of way, waking a left behind rebel trying to find back to himself.

That stupid pull and push game is going on my nerves and it's fuckin' enough. I am not going to accept it any longer. I simply don't want to. When I rise up from the bed, Axl groans quietly, then opens his eyes and as soon as they meet mine, he's fully awake. I think he senses what's going on. His mouth keeps shut, but he's fighting with himself, maybe words forming on his tongue, demanding to be spoken out loud, but he keeps quiet, just looking at me with those pleading eyes again.

'Don't go', they say. 'Don't leave me alone'. But I can't. Because he's going to push me away again and I should leave as long as I am able to. I'm not in love with him. I am not. But I'm starting to fall for him- heavily and unavoidable and I can't deny that. I try to give him a smile but what forms on my face is just a grimace; weird, raged, horrible, just how I fuckin' feel. When I leave he's still laying there, coughing, looking, biting the insides of his cheeks and I just close the door.

A little dramatic maybe, but it's all in my head and it's needed. I walk through the flat, straight to Duffs room, knocking, not fuckin' caring if he's awake or not. He is, as the door opens and I'm greeted with Sex Pistols and smoke, smelling heavily like pot. There's Steven on the couch giving me a wave with his feet, grinning widely. "Whazzup Slasher? Axl still alive?"

"Yeah. Better I think. Dunno'. Let's go out, man."

"Now?"

"Yeah, c'mon."

I grab Duffs wrist, barely giving him time to pack in his cigarettes and his room keys, but he isn't complaining when I drag him out, Steven yelling something after us I can't understand. "What?! Shut up and join us, asshole." He comes running after us when we are already outside, wearing long trunks and high tops, together with a loose shirt, flowery ornaments and all the buttons opened, leaving his hair covered chest completely exposed.

"You look ridiculous.", Duff says grinning and Steven even agrees before fumbling in his pockets, then holding up a little plastic bag filled with coke. "Yeah. But I got this here! See!"

Duff is patting his shoulder as we walk on, Stevie with the proudest grin, and I'm sure he's going to absolutely knock himself out tonight- just what I planned. But I laugh as he tries to jump my back, almost making me fall with his weight, screaming, and life suddenly seems so easy. Like it had been.

---

She's pretty. Long, light brown hair, brown eyes and a pair of huge tits. Just how I love them- big and round and blousy, feeling warm, heavy and smooth in my hands. A steady, a familiar weight, rolling thumbs over her nipples, making her gasp. Something I am so used to. Soft and inviting, smelling sweet- the absolute contrast to the hard, even muscles on Axls chest.

We are back at Duffs room, fuckin' wasted and we took some girls back home. Easy ones, cheap sluts maybe, but pretty ones. There's Steven receiving a blow job on the other end of the room while he drinks pure rum from a bottle, pouring some on her breast from time to time, rubbing it to her skin. Duff is on the other end of my chick, since his one is throwing up since half an hour now, rubbing his dick in between her legs and she's pretty wet judged by the sounds.

I open my zipper, pulling my dick out directly into her face. Led Zeppelin playing and my cock buried deep inside of her throat. I am fucking her mouth, roughly pressing her down and grinning madly as she's gagging, foamy saliva running down my balls and in between my ass cheeks. A little too much teeth but she's good enough to make my hips jerk, so I give her a little pat on the head for being a good girl. Giving' the dog a bone, right?