When Everything Changes

Chapter 3

When I get across the street I can already hear the shouts flooding out of the half open door. I pause at the doorstep, contemplating whether it's a good idea or not to actually go in there. Just as I turn to leave, I see my brothers walking over, clear confusion on their faces and it dawns on me that I'm probably going to be the one to break the news to them.

I walk down and sit on the steps. Matt and Dylan stand in front of me, hands shoved in their pockets. "What just happened?" Matt asks, breaking the silence. I'm not sure where to start. How do you tell your brothers that you just found dad cheating.

"Well," I start, deciding it'd be best to just spit it out. "Mom and I just saw dad walking out of Mrs. Patel's office. They were together and they were both fixing their clothes and grinning like idiots and he kissed her. I think you can figure out the rest."

"Yeah, I guess we ca-." Dylan is cut off by the sound of a large crash. We all share a brief glance at each other before racing into the house. My mom is throwing dishes at my dad when we walk in. He manages to duck each shot but there is glass all over the floor, and each time one cracks against the wall she grabs another, screaming and crying the whole time. I've never seen her like this and I hate that I have to, that we have to.

"Mom stop, what are doing? You could really hurt him." I say though I'm not actually sure if I care if she hurts him, he kind of deserves it. Dylan and I walk over to her and just as he grabs her, she collapses on his chest and more tears come.

I've never felt so bad for someone in my life like I do right now. In a matter of minutes her life has been completely turned upside down. I watch as my dad stands and watches his son hold on to his wife, the pain and regret on his face almost makes me feel sorry for him. But he did this to himself.

As we all stand in the kitchen, nothing but complete silence except from my moms sobs, I realize that this family, that my parents, are now completely broken and I'm not sure if they can be fixed.

~~~~

After awhile, Dylan and Matt both lead mom to her room to sleep, while I stay and clean the mess she had made. My dad stands in the doorway the entire time, just watching. I want to say something, say anything but the words are caught in my throat, unable to be spoken.

"I'm sorry Lennon." My dad says slowly. " I know I let you down, let all of you down. And for that I'm deeply sorry."

I dump the broken pieces of glass in the trash and slowly turn to face him. I have never looked at my dad and felt such rage, and sadness, and such disappointment in my life. I hate the feeling now, but I can't excuse it's presence.

"I appreciate that, but I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. You should be, however, upstairs on your hands and knees begging her to even consider forgiving you."
I can't help the fire laced in my words but I hope they burn like hell.

I finish cleaning the mess in silence as he continues to stand there. I walk past him out the kitchen and toward the stairs just as the doorbell rings. I open it, and Ethan is standing there with his hand shoved down in his pockets, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet like he does when he's nervous.

"Can we go for a walk?" He asks in a small voice. "Yeah, just let me change. You can come up if you want." He closes the door behind him and follows me up to my room. After grabbing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, I head to the bathroom to quickly change. I slide on a pair of converse once I'm back to my room. Turning to Ethan, I make it clear I am ready to go. On the way out I notice that my dad has gone. On the table by the door, there is a sealed white envelope with my dads handwriting that's addressed to my mom. Apart of me wants to rip it to pieces, another part wants to read the sorry words scribbled onto the paper. But the larger, more rational, part knows to leave it there and wait for my mom to see it.

We walk a few blocks in silence. There are still people out having fun, though it was getting closer to midnight. I always liked the fact that even after the sun went down, in New York there was always something to do and that everyone, despite whatever problems were going on in their lives, all seemed happy and that made me happy.But right now looking at all the smiling faces didn't make me feel like smiling or laughing along with them.

"What's on your mind?" Ethan asks, breaking me away from my thoughts.

I shrug my shoulders, trying to think of a response. "Come on Lennon," he presses. "You're never this quiet unless there's some weighing on your mind, and whatever it is I understand. Trust me."

I stop abruptly, when he realized I am no longer walking he quickly turns to face me. "I'm just really angry." I speak before I can stop myself. "I'm just mad and I'm not even sure I have the right to be, but I'm am. I mean how could he do that to her, to us. He didn't just possibly ruin their relationship, he ruined our family."

"Go ahead and call me selfish, or stupid, or whatever else you can think of. I get it you know. I just can't help it." He stands silently for a few seconds, I'm not sure what he is going to do or say, but when he started smiling and trying not to laugh I was completely thrown.

"What are you laughing at?" I ask angrily.

"Lennie you are insane," he says still laughing. "Why would I have any reason to think of you as being selfish, you along with the rest of us have every right to be mad at our parents." By now the laughing had stopped and he is no longer smiling. "They're the selfish one in this situation, Lennie. Not us. Not your mom or my dad. Not you or your brothers and not me. They fucked up Lennie, so you're perfectly justified in your anger, like I am in mine because this does affect us."

When he finishes his rant I think he and I both feel a whole lot better. I can't help but wrap my arms around him in a tight hug. I'm happy to have him here and to have him get me so well, in a way most people don't and probably never will. He's always here to say the right thing to get me out of my head, and I'll always be grateful for that.

"We should probably get back, it's getting late." He says pulling away from the hug. We start back down the street toward our houses. Ethan reaches and pulls me closer to him, draping his arm around my neck as I wrap mine around his waist. Despite the the heat of the New York streets I pull myself closer to him.

When we get to my house I have to finally detach myself from Ethan's side. He stands by the stairs and watches as I make my way up.

"Lennie?" He calls just as I open the door.

"Yeah?"

"Is it okay if I come up? My dad left a little while ago and my mom is still there..." He slowly trails off and I try not to smile as he nervously scratches the back of his neck.

"Dude, since when do you ask? You know you don't have to. Come on."

He comes in and follows me up to my room, shutting the door behind him. I find some extra clothes of his buried down in the bottom of one drawer. While Ethan is down the hall changing I quickly do the same and crawl into bed. The door creaks open a few minutes later and I soon feel the bed dip beside me. Ethan crawls in as I turn my body to face him. He is lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. I can tell there is something on his mind but when I try to ask he just shakes his head and pulls me into his side. I don't fight it, for obvious reasons, and because I know he wouldn't be holding on to me if he didn't need to.

Ethan, unlike me, isn't as vocal when it came to how he was feeling. It usually takes me awhile to break through to him when something minor happens, but tonight which should be a great night for him, was ruined by our selfish parents.

"I love you Ethan, and I know you don't want to talk right now, but when you're ready, so am I."

"I love you too Lennie. Good night."