When Everything Changes

Chapter 14

Lennon

It's been a few days since my argument with Ethan. He hasn't tried to talk to me once and because of that I've been avoiding him too. It's weird because in the past, if the two of us got into a fight we'd make up that same day over two cherry cokes and a plate of fries.

But this fight is different. I can feel it.

I'm up in my room right now, sitting on my bed and watching Matty nap in the window seat. The sun shines bright on his dark curls, lighting them golden. I think Matty and I are attuned a certain way. He knows when something is wrong with me and I with him.
He hasn't left my side since the other night and I'm very grateful for that.

He's a good little brother.

Even still with his attempt at distracting me my mind always finds away back to Ethan and Ellie and that thing that they have the that infuriates me. And Matty is too deep into his sleep for me too bother and Dylan is somewhere out with Troye and Lexi. Which is fine by me. I'm glad he's having fun. Honestly, I should have gone with them.

As I sit and contemplate my life my stomach growls and look over and the clock one the table. 3 o'clock and I haven't eaten. I head downstairs to make lunch.

I pass the living room on my way. Ethan and Ellie are seated together. She flips her hair over her shoulder and then back again, I don't get why she always does that, it makes her look like she has a tick. Nonetheless, I suppress the urge to scream.

I need my mom. I go to her room but she isn't in there. Then I check the kitchen and the laundry room. I even check her room again but I can't find her. I go back to the kitchen to get to the back door. If my mom isn't in the house she must be out back.

I'm right. I find her alone at the picnic table out by the gate. She has on a pair of khaki shorts and a loose fitting shirt that the wind ruffles behind her. Her bare feet are propped up on the seat beside her but she has a pair of floral Birkenstock sitting beside her seat. Her hair is down and the wind is softly blowing her curls away from her face. The sun makes my moms brown skin glow.

My mother really is beautiful. It's weird when people tell me how much I look like my mom cause it just isn't true. I'm pretty, I know that, but my mom is like crazy beautiful. She's all golden brown skin and high cheekbones and nice bone structure. While I'm lanky and frizzy and always covered in ink or pencil smudges.

I sit down across from her and for a few moments we sit in silence. Then she looks over at me and raises an eyebrow. It's her way of telling me she I knows I need to talk. Before I can get a word out she asks, "Is this about Ethan?"

"Mom!" I screech. The back door is still open.
"I already know it is so just tell me what's wrong this time."
"Fine." I take a deep breathe trying to figure out what the hell it is I actually need to say.
"I think that...I know that I might love Ethan more than how I should love him." I tell her slowly. And I don't even know why because she has that, "I told you so" face on.
"Is that all?" She asks. I know she's trying not to smile. She isn't very helpful.
"No it's not all. He's been spending like every moment since we got her with Ellie and we had a fight the other night cause he thinks that I think I own him or something, which by the way I don't, and I'm mad. But I shouldn't be because he's allowed to have other friends, and I know I'm being really clingy but I miss him. This was supposed to be our summer but so far all he can seem to think about is her. And Ellie is my cousin. And let's face it she's beautiful and so is Ethan, and I never call guys beautiful but he is. I mean, he can get any girl he wants, so why her." Why not me? The words hang in the air and on the tip of my tongue but I don't let them slip.

My mom takes a moment and then she gets up and comes around the table. I turn to face her. She takes my chin in her hand and says, "Look, I love Ethan. I really do. He's become family to me after all these years but if he can't see what he has in front of him already then he doesn't deserve you, okay? Ethan's a smart boy but for the past few weeks he hasn't been acting very smart, but that is his problem, not yours. Don't waste your summer crying about some guy when there are a lot more out there." She's  saying theses words to me but I know she means them for herself too. I don't even know when the last time was that she talked to my dad. I know my grandad talks to him. He talks to him everyday actually but I don't think my parents have spoken in weeks.

He calls me everyday. Matt and Dylan have him blocked on their phones but I couldn't make myself do it. Every time my dad calls my phone I just let it ring until he gets it that I won't be answering today. Not because I don't want to answer but because when you're put in situations like this you have to pick a side. You have to choose between your parents and your sides of family even when you don't want to. If it was up to me we'd be anywhere but here right now, in my dads parents home in the middle of Georgia. If it was up to me we'd be in New York City or upstate with my moms family.

I didn't get the chance to choose sides when it comes to family. So when it comes to parents I really don't have a choice but to choose. And in all honesty and even though I don't necessarily want to. I choose Evelyn Eli. I choose my mom.