Tobias - after Allegiant ✔

41

Somehow I fell asleep. I know because I wake with the urge to throw up. I run to the restroom once again. Stupid restroom. I've seen this one way to much for the few hours I've been here. On my way back to the waiting room, I see Helen. 
   
"Helen," I say, my voice still weak, but less than it was. "Do you have new infowmation about Tobias?"
   
"Yes," she says. Then she frowns. "You alright?"
   
I shake my head. And let everything out. I don't know why I tell her and not one of my friends, but I couldn't care less.
   
"Tobias almost died on ouw wedding and I knew something bad was about to happen and I didn't wawn him. Eastwood is an asshole and now I'm sick and I don't know what to do."
   
"You're sick?" says Helen with raised eyebrows and I nod. "Do you want me to take a look?"
   
I nod.
   
"I can't see Tobias if I'm sick, isn't it?" I ask.
   
"Probably not," she answers truthfully. "But maybe you just think you're sick. Maybe it's just the tension and the worry that makes you vomit."
   
I nod again, but I'm not convinced. I follow her to a small room at the end of the corridor.
   
"But what infowmation did you have?" I ask to fill the silence and sit down on the bed.
   
"I just wanted to tell everyone that the surgery was successfully completed." She looks at me. "He's still alive. We don't know when he'll wake up, though."

"Thank God."

S

he smiles at me and starts examining me. I keep quiet and let her poke me with needles and whatever else she wants to do.
   
"When was the last time you ate?" she asks after a while.
   
I shrug. "Yestewday mowning."
   
She shakes her head at me. "I know why it's hard to keep doing things like that, because they seem useless at that moment, but you need to try."
   
I sigh and keep myself from rolling my eyes. "I know."
   
"Good," she says.

"Have you found anything yet?" I ask curiously.

"Yes, but it's nothing bad. You're not really sick."

"So I can see Tobias?"

"That depends on Tobias. I'll check him when we are done here."

"Well, what's wong then?"

+ + +

I sit down on a chair in the waiting room with a heavy sigh. I put my face in my hands and press my fingers to my forehead as hard as I can to hide the tremble.
   
"What's wrong, Tris?" asks Christina with a sigh.
   
"What do you think?" I snap. "My husband is somewhere in this building unconscious and I have no idea how he's doing and I'm not allowed to see him."
   
"You can always talk to us, you know. Even if you need someone in the middle of the night. We all are in this together."
   
I shake my head. "I just want Tobias."
   
I want to tell him first what have happened.
   
"Then maybe you should talk with her," says Christina and she nudges me with her elbow. I look up and see Helen, standing by the entrance of the waiting room. I look at her hopefully and she nods at me. I jump up and almost run through the whole building, looking for Tobias.
   
"He isn't awake yet," she says. "And it doesn't look pretty, I'm warning you."
   
I nod and follow her through the white, spotless corridors of the hospital. Helen stops in front of a room with a window next to the door. No privacy.
   
"If he wakes up, press the red button next to his bed and leave the room, okay?"
   
I nod, but I can't wait to get in that room. But when Helen opens the door for me, I don't rush inside. I think I'm scared for what I'm about to see. I walk in almost cautious.
   
He lies in a hospital bed with white hospital comforter and white hospital pillows and a light blue hospital gown. And his face is white as well. I don't like the color of his skin.
   
I finally reach him and touch my hand to his forehead. He regained some of his usual warmth, so that's good.
   
I sit down on the chair next to the bed and take his hand. My fingers shake once again and I hate myself for it.
   
"Hi," I say. It feels weird to talk to someone who won't talk back. "I miss you. You scawed the living daylights out of me. Will you nevew, evew, do like you'we dying again? I lose my twust in the wowds of doctows this way."
   
I squeeze his hand and wait.
   
"Please, Tobias, weact. Just squeeze my hand. I want to know if you can heaw me."
   
Nothing happens. I sigh and shake my head.
   
"It's so weiwd, Tobias," I continue, even though I know for sure he can't hear me now. "Evewyone is sitting in this waiting woom and Eastwood comes in and start insulting me and I almost killed him and..."
   
I release a shaky breath and shake my head again.
   
"And now I'm just stawing at my wedding wing, thinking about how messed up our lives awe. I mean, we can't even have a wedding without twouble. Youw past is haunting us and we awe expecting even though Mawia told us not to do that. It's all messed up beyond wepair."
   
The tears start to flow and I lay my head down on the bed, my forehead pressing against the mattress. Suddenly a weight falls on my head. A hand, with long fingers. I look up. Tobias has his eyes open.
   
"Tobias," I say breathless.
   
He frowns and puts on the mask he had as instructor.
   
"That's not my name," he says sternly. His voice cracks from a dry throat.
 
"It is," I say. "Tobias..."
   
"Don't you call me that! My name is Four."
   
My tears stop. I press the button next to his bed and with a glare in his direction I walk away. Helen comes running toward the room as I get out.
   
"Helen, he's acting stwange," I say panicking. "He said his name was Fouw, like I wasn't supposed to know, like he fowgot..."
   
Did he forget me?
   
"Amnesia." Helen nods. "Happens a lot to people. It'll get better in the next few days."
   
She walks past me without another word. I'm left in the hallway, shocked, afraid, in panic. I feel like I'm alone.
   
Defeated I walk back to the waiting room. I'm about to fall – I'm dizzy and my legs shake – but I don't look for an empty chair. I just let myself fall onto my knees.
   
With a shout, Caleb stands and runs over to me.
   
"Beatrice, are you alright?" he asks.
   
I shake my head and start crying again. I don't remember crying this much on a single day before.
   
"Is he..." Caleb trails of.
   
"He doesn't wemembew me," I sob. "He's awake, but he doesn't know who I am. He had this instwuctow face again, pulling up the walls I towe down."
   
"Oh, Tris," Caleb just says. "Amnesia is a side effect of long lasting unconsciousness. He should remember in a few days."
   
He sounds like the boy he was ten years ago, when our mother broke her wrist and he reassured her.
   
"And what if he doesn't?" I ask.
   
"Then I'm sure you can start over. His mind may have forgotten you, but his heart hasn't and never will."
   
I hug him tightly and he holds me close to him.
   
"Who else did he forget?" someone asks. I don't know who.
   
"I don't know," I say. "I was told to leave the moment he woke up, so I couldn't ask."
   
"Mrs Eaton?" says Helen. I didn't notice she came in. I look at Evelyn and she looks at me and then I realize she was talking to me. I turn my head toward her. "Mr Eaton would like to see you."
   
"He wemembews?" I ask hopefully.
   
"No, but he wants to see you. Be careful with what you say. Stop if it becomes too much for him."
    
I nod and get back on my feet. My legs still refuse to work so I hold on to Helen's arm on our way.
   
Please, Tobias, remember me.

A/N - he's not dead, yay! I'm already halfway to the 2K reads😱😱😱 it went so much faster than the 1K. It really is awesome

Be brave & stay alive