Chapter 17

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A/N: Hey all!!! Thanks for your patience! Unfortunately, the wait was unavoidable and I hope I never have to go this long without updating again, but we do what we can. Life doesn't always give us time to do what we love. Please forgive my momentary neglect and enjoy this next chapter.

*******Tristan**********

Tristan stood with his back against the closed door that led to Tia’s room. He just walked away from Sierra and he wasn’t completely sure why.

For a brief moment, he got a glimpse of what it would be like if Sierra was his. He can still remember every detail of the way she felt. How she tasted. She was unlike any girl he’d ever been with. He’d never been with a black girl before, but he doubted that was what made this different. She was different, special. The way she responded to him turned his blood into liquid fire as it raced through his veins and made his body burn. He was burning now at the memory of the feel of her body, the taste of her lips, everything about her made his blood boil. When he closed his eyes, he could still feel her, the events of tonight permanently engraved in his heart and mind. He couldn’t deny that she affected him, she was in his system from the day they met, from the first time she smiled at him.

And her confession was unexpected. She said she’d been waiting for him and the words haunted him.  His mind filled with questions. How long was she waiting? Since they started swimming lessons? Before that?

Tristan wanted to believe he was doing the right thing but why did he feel like he just made the biggest mistake of his life? He could hear Sierra’s sobs through the walls and he felt his heart throb. What the hell did he just do?

No longer able to just stand outside, he went to her. He let himself back into the room, quietly closing the door behind him. When Sierra saw it was him, she sat up on the bed, turned her back to him and wiped at her face.

“I asked you to go away,” she said, her voice hoarse, shaky.

He approached her cautiously. “I know.”

Sierra angled her body away from him but not before he caught a glimpse of her wet cheeks. He reached over to wipe her tears away and she jerked away from him.

“Don’t.”

Tristan let his hand fall and just sat in silence next to her. She kept herself turned away from him as her sobs began again and he wondered if he should have come back. Maybe he should have left like she asked him to. He felt helpless, like he was making things worse. The urge to touch her was unbearable.

“Honey, please let me hold you.”

She didn’t answer for a long time, just kept her back to him. Her cries quieted down after a few excruciating moments. He didn’t think she was going to answer, but she spoke some instants later.

“Does what I want mean anything to you?”

Her question surprised him. “Of course it does. How can you ask me that?”

She finally turned to face him, he was tormented by what he saw. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face was drawn tight, she looked like a stranger. He just wanted to hold her and take the pain away.  

“I don’t want you here and I sure as hell don’t want you to hold me. Your being here … hurts me.” Her voice cracked on the last few words.

How was he supposed to walk out on her, did she really expect him to leave her like this? A tear escaped from her eyes and he wiped it away before she could stop him. He kept his hand on her cheek and she let him. He relished the fleeting moment of touching her skin. He wondered if he’d ever get the chance again.

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