limerence + various

after years : ty

requested by blueberryish ...
tsukkiyama "meeting after years" angst.

kei's world comes crashing down around him.

+

it's sunny. and maybe it's just a little too sunny for kei's liking, because his glasses create colorful spots in his vision and even when he lifts an arm to block out the sun, the spots are still there as is his annoyance.

he certainly isn't looking forward to work today, dealing with pesky customers who seem to want nothing but to waste his time. it would be just his luck that his coworker texted him earlier saying he was sick, so now he'd have to work harder than he normally does.

it far from suits him.

he's changed a bit since high school. he no longer plays volleyball, deeming himself "too old" and isn't nearly as snarky, unless he's in a bad mood.

he finds himself to be in a bad mood more often than not.

kei never really tried to make new friends after graduating high school. he and tobio were the only ones graduating from the volleyball team that weren't dissolving into puddles of tears, running around hugging others and crying even more, and needless to say, shouyo and tadashi were the ones that were doing that.

kei and tadashi had started dating during their second year, both so young and naive that they actually expected for it to work out.

after graduation, through the tears, tadashi had broken the news to kei that he was going to go to university in kyoto while kei planned to stay where he was.

and so that was it.

kei hadn't made any tries to contact tadashi in kyoto, and even though he wanted to, he'd rather not open sealed wounds. he hadn't seen tadashi in years.

it was passed time for tadashi to graduate, and kei had already graduated and was now working at a stationary shop that he hated but didn't feel like changing.

when this thought passed through kei's mind, it was about the same time that he heard a meow to his left.

he had seen this cat before, she was a calico cat that loves to walk around the stationary shop and sit by the storefront and bask in the sun. kei never saw her on rainy days, and sometimes wonders where she goes on those days.

"aren't you a sweet kitty?" says a happy sounding voice, and kei recognizes it immediately but wishes he doesn't. he's not ready to face this yet, and he can feel those metaphorical wounds being torn into with every syllable of that phrase.

it's tadashi. of course it's tadashi.

kei turns to look at him. his hair is still exactly the same. he's wearing skinny jeans, almost identical to the ones that kei is wearing and a light blue shirt.

kei clears his throat, and tadashi looks over at him, the smile on his face slowly growing as he jumps up and runs to him.

"kei! it's been so long, how are you? have you been eating well? you look tired," tadashi says after looking him up and down.

"since when do you worry like an old woman?" is the first thing kei says to him, and tadashi smiles.

"we used to be best friends, am i not allowed to worry for you?" tadashi asks with a beaming smile almost as bright as the sun.

kei looks to the ground, breaking eye contact with tadashi momentarily. "we used to date, too," he finally says.

tadashi's smile falters but then quickly turns into a smaller grin. "that's true," he says quietly.

"i, um," kei stutters, clearing his throat. "i haven't heard from you since you left for kyoto."

tadashi shuffles his shoe against the pavement. "i haven't heard from you either."

kei adjusts his posture. "well, things are great here. i have a job, and an apartment and i'm doing just fine," he says, maybe too quickly.

tadashi nods. "that's great to hear! i don't have a job yet, so i'm staying with a friend in kyoto until i can get myself on my feet," he says, his smile only dropping a bit.

kei makes a noise of approval in the back of his throat and adjusts his glasses. "where are you staying while you're here?"

"with my parents," he says timidly, looking down once more and scrubbing his foot on the pavement.

everything is rushing back to kei with each word spoken, all of his emotions that he's shoved down for years, all of those tears he's choked back and all of the wounds he simply puts bandaids on are resurfacing, being ripped open. it's all too forceful, and the man he loves is right in front of him, yet so far out of reach.

he knows that tadashi is happier without him.

those three words are on the tip of his tongue, the back of his lungs, burning, itching to surface and be spoken.

"i miss you," kei finally says, and he breaks. his facade falls and his masks cracks and he breaks.

tadashi looks up at him with tears in his brown eyes and nods. "i miss you too, kei, but.." a tear slips down his freckly face and he sniffles briefly.

"i have a life in kyoto, and you're not part of it."

+

this hurt me while i was
writing it ngl.

i hope this is okay and angsty
enough? i'm not very good at
writing angst, or writing tsukkiyama.  however, i am very proud of this lmao.

thank you for reading!