Muddy Waters / enoch o'connor {Slow Updates}

act one I part three

act one I part three - enoch's old loop

"He kept asking me about the loop, and then asked me about Abel." 

"Did you tell him?!" Emma interrupted, mouth a gap in surprise. 

We were trailing on the end of the line, just out of earshot of the others. Olive had been sending me dirty looks since we'd started, which were entirely ignored by Enoch. Her jealousy was radiating off of her, and I felt distaste for her growing in the bottom of my throat. 

"No," I acknowledged, "but why does he want to know so badly?"

"We all do," Emma replied, " but he's the most open about it. There's something I have to tell you later. But not here, we have to be alone." 
"What is it?"I asked in a hush tone.

"He suspects wights," Emma replied quietly, "his old loop was raided." 

I could't stop the gasp that tore through my throat, prompting some of the other's to look back at us. Enoch and Olive looked last, and suddenly, I felt like I was crumbling in his gaze. He was an asshole, but I wanted to know more. He wanted to know so badly because he had experienced it. It must have been clear to him from the start. 

He just wanted me to say it - to confirm his theories. His face contorted in confusion before he looked away. What had he seen? Was he attacked? 

"You can't tell him I told you though," Emma whispered, "we all promised when he got here to never speak of it again - on his wish." 

I tried to picture Enoch in my place, scrambling around in fear, running from Wights that had invaded. I tried to see him walking up the staircase here, bloodied and tired, explaining breathlessly his tale of horror. 

I couldn't promise to Emma that I wouldn't say anything, because now, I knew I would get ahead of myself and ask him myself.

"Were the others from his old loop?" 

"He came alone, but that doesn't mean that they all died. He seems to think they did though." 

It was easier to believe that your friends were dead, as opposed to stressing about them and wondering where they had gone. I could relate to Enoch, more than I ever wanted too. That's why he was so intent on knowing what happened to Abel. 

"If it was wight's that attacked him, you can't tell him Louisa. He'll become obsessed with it. He'll hate you more. I've seen it happen." 

"What do you mean?" I asked. 

"There was a girl, maybe, a decade or less ago. She came here and said her loop was attacked by wights. Enoch heard and became obsessed with it. He kept talking about how peculiardom was doomed and it started upsetting the younger kids. Finally, Miss Peregrine sent her too Miss Nightjar I think. Either way she sent her away," Emma explained. 

The entire time, my mind was frozen on my fellow peculiar's. Loop raids were becoming more and more common as the years went. The more desperate the hollow's became, the more loops were raided. Peculiar was becoming a dying breed, and it terrified me. 

How we had survived was still beyond me. In a short number of my days, my life had become a precious thing. I didn't realize how much I treasured living until I was sure I was going to die. I also never realized how much I treasured Abel until now - when there was still a very real chance that he could die.

I clinched my fists together, so hard my nails dug into my palms. I felt the cut, and as I let go, I could see crescent shaped red, bloody lines in my palms. Miss Peregrine hadn't come with us, which I could see as both a blessing and a curse. I wanted to ask her about Abel, though I knew it was a long shot. I wanted the truth, and unfortunately, Enoch was the only one who had it and was willing to tell. 

We made it back to the home and I could feel his glare on my back. Emma encouraged me endlessly to ignore him, but it was it difficult seeing as though he made it painstakingly apparent. 

"Miss Grove, I would like to have a word with you," Miss Peregrine said. 

I followed her to small 'office' of sort. I felt anxiety rise in my system, debating in my mind whether it was about Abel or about something else. 

"Is Abel alright?" I asked. 

"I don't like to discuss unpleasant matters unless absolutely necessary..." She began, "I thought he would get better, but Abel isn't showing any signs of improvement, in fact, it's quite the opposite. I've spoken with Enoch and we both agree that the chances of him making it through the night are slim." 

Death was a concept I never entertained myself too. When you live in a loop, and by all technicalities, you're temporarily immortal, you don't think about dying. All I thought about in the loops was how to live more - never death. We believed, foolishly, that we were destructible. The idea of death was never a reality for us - not until now. 

All my friends were missing or dead - and Abel was on fast track to being the later. 

"I understand that this must be hard for you to take in," Miss Peregrine said slowly, "I'll leave you, for a moment." 

She left me in the room by myself, consumed by silence. I closed my eyes, leaning back against the couch.  Loneliness washed over me in waves, bringing tears to my eyes.  I'd never felt more despondent as I had futilely convinced myself that he would be okay. Deep in my mind, I had forced the idea of him dying back there. 

Surrounded by endless possibilities, I thought that there was someway, somehow Abel could survive.  

I left the room, wiping tears from my cheeks and meeting Miss Peregrine at the staircase. 

"I want to see him," I said softly. 

She nodded, and began up the stairs. I followed without word, the stairs creaking with each step we took. I didn't see any of the children, which gave me some sense of security. I'm not sure I would be able to take it with what felt like a hundred eyes trained on me. 

"You are dismissed, Enoch." 

I looked up to find his eyes, which were noticeably softer than the last I'd seen him. I felt tears roll down my chin, and suddenly felt so small beneath his gaze. He looked away quickly before going down the stairs, leaving us in silence. 

She opened the door. 

Abel laid in a bed, sheets pulled back and skin glistening with sweat. He was paler, and I knew by the sight that he was probably not going to make it through the night.

"Louisa," 

His voice was weak and hoarse, but I none the less moved forward. Bandages adorned his lower torso, pink as blood began to arise once more. He struggled to keep his eyes focused and on me, they were too heavy, drooping too much for him. 

"Hi," I replied weakly, letting my palm ghost over the back of his hand. 

He was cold and clammy to the touch, but I kept my palm on his. His eyes, once filled with a radiant brilliant light, were dull. The light had faded, and I wondered briefly if it had left to go where it was most needed. 

"You can do this Lou," Abel said, closing his eyes, "you can save the others. I know it."

"Abel I have no idea where they even are," I choked out. 

I felt my lips  tremble, and I let out a small sob. He opened his eyes one more and turned his hand over, capturing my hand in his. We would never make have early morning talks anymore. 

"But they're out there, Louisa. I can feel it. They aren't..." 

He trailed off, head slumping to the side. Miss Peregrine rushed over and let out a soft sigh. 

"He's with us, but I fear for not much longer." 

a/n: ooh Enoch's old loop! You better believe I'll be going into that ;) Also, take a look back at the cast as I've finally cast Louisa and so you can get a better picture of some of those from Louisa's loop. 

x  :)