Muddy Waters / enoch o'connor {Slow Updates}

act one I part four

act one I part four - i am become death

I haven't stopped dreaming since I was young. In the loop I dreamed of escaping, out of the loop I dreamed of returning to the days I took for granted. I dreamed of having dinner with the group once more, to be surrounded by people I knew, who knew me. To fight Constantine for the head of the table every night.

I let him win in my dreams, because now that I've gotten a taste of chaos and change, I don't want trouble. Rosalie was the same - still wide eyed and terrified. In my dreams, she always signals the beginning of a nightmare. She would approach me the same every night. It was always after dinner when we went out to sit on the porch, she would grab my arm and pull me aside.

"Abel will die," She tells me, "it's his destiny. You can't save him, stop trying."

Though I've heard her words what seems like a million times, they still hit me hard. I know that I'll never stop trying to save Abel, even when he dies. It's the longest sentence I've ever heard Rosalie say in complete. All the things about her that seemed weird were making more sense to my unconscious mind in the two days following the attack.

The way she looked at Abel that morning was because she knew he would die, but it made me angry that she hadn't told us. If she had told us were about to be attacked, we could have escaped. We'd all still be together, Abel wouldn't be about to die, Miss Avery could lead us to safety some place else.

I was in and out of consciousness all night, awakening to the moonlight flooding in through the small bedroom. It was still startling, waking up in an unfamiliar place. I still expect to wake up at the old house. I woke up here and the ceiling was foreign, the window seals creaked as wind and rain beat against the old glass.

I stayed awake after I woke up for the fifth time. It was still late out, just barely 6 in the morning. I waited in silence with my eyes closed, waiting for the moment the sunlight danced across my eyelids. I stirred long before the sun, to the sound of rustling in the hallway. I stood up, curiously and opened the door.

A tall figure shifted at the end of the hallway, by Enoch's bedroom. I paused, eyes squinting as I caught sight of soft curls, illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the windows.

"Enoch?" I called out to him.

The figure froze, before taking a few steps towards me.

"What are you doing awake?" Enoch whispered back to me.

"I woke up," I replied, shrugging.

"Go back to sleep Louisa," he said softly.

I was compelled to continue pestering him, but closed the door anyways. I went back to bed and climbed in, wondering vaguely in my mind as to why Enoch was up so late. Or would it be considered early? I laid in bed for another twenty or so minutes before falling back to sleep.

It was the first time I hadn't dreamed but I was restless still. The tiny interaction between the two of us was overwhelming me even in my sleep. I wasn't sure why, or how, but I had become transfixed entirely on Enoch. Maybe it was the way my name fell so casually from his lips, or the way his heavy accent seemed to curl around it.

It sent shivers down my spine and a spark of excitement through my veins. It made my palms sweat and I began anticipating seeing him once more. I knew what it was, but wouldn't allow myself to admit it freely. One of my closest friends was on his death bed, and it was clear to me that now was the worst time to garner feelings for someone new.