shadow » h.s

nineteen

It's hard saying goodbye to dad again though I'm happy I came down to spend time with him. It's only a month until christmas and I'll be going back home then, with Beth this time. 

The train journey is long and I become excited and nervous to meet Harry. I hope he hasn't forgotten, or worse, stood me up on purpose. My thoughts change when I am ten minutes away from the station and receive his text. 

*I'm waiting outside, I'll be in my car.*

*I'll be there soon x* I reply and drum my fingers against my knee as the last couple of minutes slowly go by. It's ridiculous really. A boy shouldn't have this affect on me. As I walk out from the station I spot Harry's black range rover and hurry across, tugging my scarf higher in attempt to shield myself from the icy wind. 

"Hey," he says with a small smile once I'm seated in the passenger seat. "Did you have a nice weekend?"

"Yes," I tell him and appreciate his calm tone. Harry usually begins our meetings rude and snappy and as we talk more his anger eases off, though he now begins softly which is a first. I tell him about spending time with my dad and he nods along, humming here and there as he drives back to our university. 

"Can I ask you something?" I question after finishing my explanation. 

"So many bloody questions," he grumbles under his breath though quickly corrects himself. "Sure..."

"How can you afford this car?" I ask and it suddenly hits me that he probably stole it. His next answer I definitely don't see coming.

"I have a job," he tells me quietly. Drug dealing?

Stop being so damn judgemental Jess.

"What do you do?"

"Um, I design graphics stuff and shit."

"Really?" I ask and both of us hear the surprise in my voice. 

"Yeah. That's what I'm getting my degree in at uni...graphics."

"Oh," I nod and realise I never actually asked what he's studying. "Do you work from home?"

"I work from the house," he corrects me and mutters quietly under his breath though I manage to hear and my heart aches. "I don't have a home," he whispers. 

"Do you enjoy it?"

"Yeah," he mutters. "It pays well."

"You've done well for yourself," I tell him softly and he looks across at me with a small smile.

"Thanks."

"So what kind of graphics do you do?" I ask to create conversation. He huffs a bit in annoyance, most likely at my amount of questions, but answers nethertheless.

"I design websites for companies."

"Really?" I ask. "That's pretty cool."

"Mm," he hums and turns his head to the right as we turn into the street. 

"I've never had a job," I admit.

"Really?" He questions and raises his eyebrows. "Not even a Saturday job?"

"Nope," I say with a small laugh. "Never."

"Oh. I had to get a job..."

"Yeah," I nod, knowing that he had to in order to live for himself. "You should be very proud of yourself."

"Proud for scaring my mum so much that she wouldn't even look at me? I don't think that is something anybody would be proud of," he snaps and frowns and I want nothing more to comfort the troubled boy who has lost everything. 

"You know I didn't mean that," I say softly and although I don't appreciate his harsh tone, I know nothing poisonous is meant behind his words. He shrugs and grunts quietly and I decide to change the topic. 

"Are you going to come in with me?" I ask quietly when he parks his car out front, a small hopeful smile at my lips. 

"I don't know..." he mutters and shakes his head, his frown growing as he stares at the steering wheel.

"Please?" I ask. "I want you to come in with me."

"You do?" He addresses his surprise to me. 

"Yes," I confirm with a nod and immediately warm at the little smile tugging at his lips. 

"Okay." Harry and I walk to my dorm room and I decide to ignore the stares sent towards me. I'm pretty used to it now. The moment I enter my room I swing my bag off and sit down on the bed, gesturing for Harry to do the same.

"So I was--" I begin but am cut off by Harry's desparate lips on mine, his fingers immediately crawling down the skin of my neck. 

"I missed you so much," he growls as his lips reach my jaw and I moan involuntarily. I feel his smirk against my skin and I want to roll my eyes at his cockiness though I don't have time as he bites down into the crook of my neck. He huffs as my phone starts to ring and I glance down at the device sat on the bed. 

"Who is it?" He questions and I am a little hesitant about answering. All I want to think about right now is Harry. 

"Niall," I finally answer and he growls a little against my neck, his fingertips brushing quickly down my sides. 

"Ignore him," he mutters and I gasp as his fingers slip beyond the waistband of my leggings. 

"I wasn't going to answer," I mumble and roll my head back as his lips continue to suck at a paticularly fond spot just below my ear. 

"Good," he grunts and continues his actions with his fingers, a flush spreading across my cheeks and down to my neck as his hands brush over my underwear. 

"I'm going to try something different," he tells me quietly and nerves rush through me.

"I...um,"

"You're going to like it Jess," he promises and places a gentle kiss to the base of my throat. I nod, slightly unsure but my trust is placed in Harry. 

"I need to get you out of these first," he says seductively and I am certain I can come from his pure voice alone. 

"You don't like them?" I tease and he lets out a laugh as he lays me back onto the mattress. 

"I love them...they show off your ass wonderfully."

I flush and he laughs again, slipping my leggings and underwear down in one smooth motion. I still feel uncomfortable beneath Harry, completely vulnerable lying underneath the tattooed boy. Sensing my anxiousness, he reassures me with a quick kiss. I bite my lip as his fingers run over my heat before spreading my thighs and his eyes rake over my chest.

"Can I...?"

"No," I am quick to respond. 

"I know Jess...you're beautiful, I--"

"Please Harry," I beg, the plead obvious in my voice. "Please...I can't."

"Fine," he grumbles but his eyes quickly snap to mine and he apologises with another swift kiss to my lips. 

"What are you...um, doing that is different?" I stutter. Another wave of nerves runs through me. 

"You'll see," he smirks and moves down the bed, pushing my shirt up a little and pressing a gentle kiss to the skin below my navel. 

"Harry," I gasp as his lips become closer to my heat. 

"Calm down," he tells me and pushes at my calves so that his head is between my bent legs. "You're going to love it baby."

"Oh," I gasp loudly and immediately bite down on my hand as Harry presses a kiss in between my thighs. His tongue begins to gently caress the bud of nerves between my legs and the only thing I can see and feel is him.