shadow » h.s

thirty one

h a r r y

"What are you doing for Christmas?" Jess asks as we lie on her narrow bed, my head tucked against her neck as she runs her fingers through my hair. I have never been touched with such care before and my heart warms at her gentle and soft touches.

I hadn't even taken a second thought about how soon Christmas is, the day to me is like every other. "Nothing," I murmur against her skin. "I'll probably just stay at the house and sleep."

Her hands freeze and she falls silent. "You'll be going home, won't you?"

I feel her nod and her fingertips continue to run through my curls once again. It is too silent in the room and I pull away from Jess' shoulder, resting my head on the pillow next to hers. 

I frown as I see her glossy eyes, tears threatening to escape. "What's wrong?" I ask cautiously and she lets out a shaky laugh which is quickly replaced with a frown. 

"You can't be on your own for Christmas," she says in a tiny voice, her words almost silent.

I smile at my emotional girl, pressing my fingertips lightly to the nape of her neck. "I don't have any other choice, Jess."

My words draw more tears and I catch the slipping one with a kiss.

"I will be back in a minute, okay?" She abruptly says, removing herself from my hold and snatching her phone from the side. 

"Where are you going?" I frown as she heads to the door. 

"I will just be outside, I need to call someone," she gives me a small smile before slipping from the room and leaving me alone. I hope it isn't fucking Niall. 

A sigh escapes my lips and I roll onto my back, stretching out my legs which hang over the end of Jess' small bed. I hate to see her upset, especially because of something I said. Truth is; I have spent Christmas alone for the past couple of years. I have nowhere to go or anyone to celebrate with, so the day suffices as any other would. 

Even when I was living with mum things weren't as they should be; my father's obsessive drinking addiction left us with almost no money as it was, so presents were hardly an option. 

I remember the year that mum had managed to buy me a bike, it was the most exciting time of my whole life. I rode it up the street all day with mum teaching and helping me, until dad came home drunk and smashed it up with a hammer. 

Jess returns ten minutes later, her tears now gone and a smile planted to her lips. 

"Okay?" I question when she sits beside me on the bed, sliding her phone across the table beside her bed. 

She nods and I mentally sigh with relief. "Who was it?"

Don't be fucking Niall. "Dad," she says and I smile up at her. "Harry?"

I nod and reach for her hand, running my fingertips over her knuckles. "Yeah?"

"Do you want to spend Christmas with me?" She questions and my heart just about stops. "At home."

Her face falls at my silence and I press a kiss to the back of her hand. I want to tell her yes but just about one thousand thoughts are running through my mind. 

"I'm taking that as a no?" She asks quietly, her gaze settled in her lap. 

I push myself up so that I am sitting and cross my legs, facing Jess. 

"No, Jess," I murmur. "I'd love to...it's just..."

Her eyes flash up to mine. "It's what?"

"Your family..." I mutter. I sound fucking pathetic. A confused frown flashes across her beautiful features and I want to kiss every inch of her face to soften her hard expression.