"Why are you awake, it's three in the morning." Krystal quietly sat next to me on the front porch of our door.
"Why are
you
up?" I asked her.
"Jessica called to say hi. She's up working late. Now I can't go back to sleep." she rested her head on my shoulder and I almost moved her off but resisted.
"Take a sleeping pill." I suggested, putting my chin in my hand and resting my elbow on top of my knee.
"You know I don't like sleeping pills." she replied in a groggy voice.
She cuddled herself closer and I stayed still, staring at the sky and breathing in the crisp night air.
"Do you ever wish this would all go away?" Krystal asked in English, moving her head a little.
I blinked heavily, "what?"
"All...all of this. The fame, the people..." she raised her hand to point at nothing in particular.
"Why would I wish that?" I asked. Even though there were moments like that for me as well.
She hesitated and moved lightly, "because it'd be so much easier to be with you."
I felt a heavy pang in my chest and I nodded. "Why are you even thinking about that."
"I'm always thinking about it."
"I see." I replied.
"Am I wrong?" she quickly asked, moving her head away and sitting up.
I shook my head and shrugged, "I don't know, Krys."
"You don't feel the same?" she asked.
I shook my head no. She stayed silent.
"I don't need for all of this to go away to want to be with you." I reached down and picked up a leaf from the ground and crushed it with my fingertips.
She put her hands through my arm and I heard her let out a light breath.
"You're not scared?" she asked.
"No. I'm not scared." my tone was flat.
"You don't seem too happy..." she said quietly.
I looked up, "I'm really tired of this. I'm physically and emotionally tired of this."
She let me go and moved a little away to be able to look at me, "what do you mean?"
I looked straight, "like you don't know? I'm sick of waiting. And you confusing me, then making me wait some more. I'm tired, Krystal. I'm tired."
"I'm sorry." she said in a high pitched voice, quietly.
"Don't do that." I said to her, smiling for some reason.
"Do what?"
"Say sorry. It makes me feel...guilty." I shuddered and she laughed.
"I'm sorry." she said again.
"What did I just say?!" I slapped myself on the knee at the word 'just' and smiled, looking at the sky again.
She looked up too, and while I had no idea what she was doing? I was counting the stars I could see.
"Do you ever think we'll be really far from each other?" Krystal asked.
I shrugged, "I don't know. Probably at some point."
