Becoming A Profiler

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So the trip here had been delayed by the bombings in Palm Beach. I'd had to call David and Robbie to tell them I was on a case. Sure enough the two men were too stubborn to wait another weekend. They were at my house waiting right now, thinking they were surprising me but didn't know that I had installed a security system that told me when someone was in my house. Cost quite a penny but worth it.

While those two were doing their thing, I was standing outside the office. There was a question that had been bouncing around my head ever since I first saw the episode.

"Penelope Garcia, teach me how to be a hacker."

==BAP==

Later that weekend, I was settling in at Penelope Garcia's apartment. My laptop was resting on her coffee table, beside her own.

I was typing out a string of code. Penelope was beside me, giving me tips as I typed.

"Okay no hold on. You don't want to do that." Penelope advised.

I paused, trying to spot the error. "Why."

"It's not gonna mask your IP, it's just gonna make your internet not work at all."

A pout came on my face. "That sucks."

"Yeah, so here's how you fix it."

After another ten minutes of that, Penelope said we were in a good place to pause.

"Megan, are you sure you want to do this?" Penelope asked.

"Yes." I replied, tense.

Penelope made a face of discomfort. "No I didn't mean- I wasn't saying it like you couldn't or that you weren't good at it. You're really good. Just- you haven't told me why. It just feels like you're doing this for a new hobby." She explained. I was too busy figuring out for myself while she rambled on. "Which I mean that's fine, I've seen weirder new hobbies. This one guy I used to date made macrame Pokemon. It was weird but hey they were cute. I think I still have a Bulbasaur somewhere on a shelf."

Hearing that, gave me pause. What could I say right now? There wasn't a real reason for doing this, not that I could say and get away with. It took me a moment to find my answer, the one I was comfortable sharing.

"Well...I wanted a chance to hang out with you." I admitted. "You know. We don't get much chance to hang out at work, so...I thought of a cool way to learn stuff and hang out with you."

Penelope cooed. She came to my side, pulling me in for a hug. I returned it. Man, even after months of being in the BAU I still couldn't believe that I was in the daily presence of Penelope Garcia.

==BAP==

When I walked into my apartment, the lights with Godley. I stared blankly at them.

David was the first to get it. "You knew?"

"Yes." I close the door behind me. "Did you guys seriously think you could bust in my house and I wouldn't know?"

David and Robbie sighed in disappointment.

"Guys. Really. I'm smarter than either of you will ever hope to be." I reminded them. Walking back into the hall, I picked up the surprise things I'd bought before coming home. "Yo no soy pendeja."

"What?" David asked.

"I'm not stupid." I told him. "Bah. You two are losers. Why are we friends?"

"Because you bring pizzas!" Robbie cheered. He plucked the boxes from my arms, taking them toward the table. "You're the best!"

"Why I'm the best doesn't explain why I hang out with losers." I pointed out to him. But Robbie wasn't listening anymore.

David walked up to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Sorry. He's been like that all day. We thought you'd be home."

"You deserved some time alone." I remarked to him. "Breaking in my home- without expecting to get caught. I'm in the FBI- I can kick your ass without breaking a sweat."

David only laughed. "You love us." He picked up the soda's I'd also bought. No alcohol- I didn't know what they liked.

He walked to Robbie, while I walked towards the small kitchen Dao grab some plates. Paper plates, mind you. No way I'm wasting a plate for pizza. There was a system when it came to eating pizza! You either respect it or get out of my life.

The three of us gathered in my small living room. As I settled in the one cushion chair, the others settled on the couch.

"Hey Meg-" Robbie began, swallowing a bite of pizza. "What's with that locked room?"

I gave him a raised eyebrow.

"You know- that other room down that hall?" Robbie continued on, the idiot that he was. "It wasn't your bedroom-"

"How do you know that, Robbie?" I asked him. Robbie blanched. David chuckled at his friend's expense. "Did you go into my bedroom? Why were you even looking at my bedroom?"

"H-hey now, I wouldn't do something so stupid!" Robbie assured me. "I was looking for the bathroom! Except I found the locked one."

"It's my study- where I keep my gun." I lied easily. Robbie paled. "Yeah. Watch yourself, Robert. I can be scary."

"Hard to be scared when I saw you experiment with makeup." David laughed.

That got Robbie laughing too.

"Shut up!" I warned him, my cheeks going pink. "You assholes."

They kept laughing.

These two were idiots...ridiculous.

Probably why they ended up being my friends.

==BAP==

But later that night, as Robbie and David went off to a hotel room, I went into my locked study.

No, the gun wasn't in there. How ridiculous.

The entire room was set up as a corkboard, covered in the various facts that I had learned from watching the show. All of the information that I had gathered from the later season, and inferred from bits and pieces.

But with one caveat.

These facts were now all altered by my presence.

So yeah. A good reason to keep everything under lock and key. Can't have random people seeing the next three years of their lives written out. I'd look like a very suspicious person.

That wouldn't do.

There was too much work to do.

==BAP==

AN: Sorry this took so long. I couldn't decide if I wanted to do the episode, or this thing. This thing won. I don't know when I'll update again- major apologies.But thanks to everyone that's stuck around with it!