Becoming A Profiler

I'm Still Having Nightmares

Megan Quinn had nightmares.

You aren't surprised. She works at the BAU. Every day, she gets confronted by the horrors of the human mind. Dark imaginations twisted into finding new ways of murder and pain. The worst humanity has to offer, always shoving their cruelty in her face. People dying all around her with her not able to save them in time.

Anyone would have nightmares. Everyone should have nightmares. What kind of person could stay nightmare free in a place like this?

She would have other horrors in her life. Horrors that would send her screaming as she awoke. There would be nights in her future where neighbors called the police at hearing her blood curdling screams. Death would replay in her mind over and over and over and over in a mindless loop. Her mind becomes a hellscape usually found only in horror films.

But those are for later. This is still early in her career at the BAU.

Yet her nightmares are often towards the future.

Instead of a case of the past, of a victim's eyes staring up at her asking 'why didn't you save me?', instead of accusing eyes saying 'you asked for more, and they gave me to you', instead of a helpless little baby in the middle of a circle, Megan Quinn sees fire.

Fire burns her skin. Bright orange and yellow flames dance on her skin, twisting and turning and demanding to feed. Megan doesn't want to feed these flames. She ran. She knew something in her dreams that she forgot by morning. Maybe she remembered water put out fires. Maybe she was looking for something to suffocate the fire. Or, maybe, she knew she wasn't the only one burning.

Megan never liked fire. As a child, she was invited to a few bonfires. She stared into the flames then, never liking what it showed. People told Megan she would burn in hell, sometimes. Megan stared at bonfires, seeing the flames take a familiar shape with a familiar scream. That may have influenced her nightmares of being on fire.

Sometimes in her dreams, she was chased by a figure she could never see. She caught flashes of the shadowy figure. Megan, in her dream, knew that she must not be caught.

His voice echoed. It was a he, Megan was sure. Only a man could have a voice that deep, so rough and booming in the long hallways Megan ran through.

He could always find her. The flames on her body served as a perfect guiding light. Perfect for the man. Less perfect for the person that wanted to hide.

In her nightmares, Megan heard so many people screaming. Not just herself. Not just the other one burning. Others screamed too. Others, suffering in hell? Others, looking for her, to see her burn? Friends, trying to help put out the fire? Megan didn't remember when she woke. She didn't even think she knew when she ran.

Megan never liked fire. Even over the years, Megan didn't light any. When looking for a place to live, Megan made a point to not get an apartment with a fireplace. Megan barely liked candles. They got a pass because they were quickly put out. The nightmares were long running.

Every night, there was fire. Always on her skin. She was crispy by the time she woke up. The figure chasing her always caught up to her. No one else screamed when the dream ended.

Why would they? They were only dreams.

==BAP==

Every morning, Megan woke up without a sound. After years and years of the same dream on repeat, it stopped hurting so much in the morning. She pulled herself out of bed. She walked on cold wood flooring to carpet, letting the feel remind her that Megan wasn't on fire anymore.

She would grab herself something warm to drink. Not too hot, in case of burns. Calling it warm was a mistake. The drink would be lukewarm. Barely enough warmth to be noticed.

Megan took a long shower. Some mornings, she stood under the steady stream of water for thirty minutes. Others times, she barely could handle the warm water.

She grabbed herself a quick breakfast of whatever packaged thing sat on the kitchen counter and a fruit before rushing out the door.

The daylight had fires of it's own to be put out.

==BAP==

She would show up at work, one of the first in the building. Reid would always be there too. Many wrote off their timeliness as just being workaholics. For Reid, this was probably true. For Megan, work just came easier than rest.

Megan spent the mornings typing away on her work computer. She saw countless bodies and replayed the memory of them in her mind. Those reports didn't haunt Megan in her dreams. Not even they could blend in among the fire and shouting.

No, nightmares about the dead only came when she was already awake. These were easier to fight. Megan knew the foes. She had their attacks memorized. They could be fought.

Megan would mention a new scientific study. Spencer would talk about it's theories or implications in the scientific community. Sometimes Derek would be there, cracking jokes about them being nerds. Sometimes Megan would visit Penelope's room to be surrounded by pink and fluff, by smiling pencils and a cute picture of a cat.

Spencer Reid. Derek Morgan. Penelope Garcia. Jennifer Jaraue. Aaron Hotchner. Jason Gideon. Megan Quinn became grounded around them. Megan trusted them to do that ever since she first saw them on TV. Even coming into their world and meeting them didn't change that. Megan only trusted them more after.

Megan Quinn would gladly face fire for them. Or let a faceless, shadow figure chase after her every night for another five years.

==BAP==

One day, Doctor Spencer Reid came into the office to pour an entire jar of sugar into his coffee.

He didn't ask about nightmares. Megan understood either way. Her lukewarm morning drinks were usually covered in whipped cream. As Derek teased the younger agent for it, Megan wanted to kick his shins.

Spencer didn't talk about his nightmares. Megan didn't blame him for it.

It came out as Spencer ranting at Derek for telling Hotch about his nightmares. After Derek admitted his nightmare, Megan admitted her's.

She had no case to connect it to, or any reasonable explanation. All she knew was that she was on fire, and that she was being chased.

Spencer asked her how she could handle it.

Megan told him the truth. The answer seemed to bring some level of comfort to her fellow agent. That brought her some comfort too.

==BAP==

Megan got herself ready for bed. She ignored thoughts of fire and screams, choosing instead to think on happier things. On jokes with Derek, on learning code with Penelope, on talking science with Spencer.

That night still had fire. It still had a booming voice chasing her. This time, Megan could hear the people shouting for her. Voices of her friends, encouraging her to move forward and fight.

She woke up smiling.

==BAP==

AN: Wow. This story is still one of my more popular ones. Thank you, everyone, for sticking with it! It really means a lot to see this story gain so much attention, even after the show is done. Can y'all leave a comment, just so I can see what you guys think? If it's negative, at least make it constructive. You guys are keeping me writing, just fyi!