Thirty Three

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"Need my help?" I shook my head as I ended the call.

"It was almost done, Kayl. No worries." said as I stood up.

He pulled me. "Kailan mo ba ako sasagutin? I've been courting you for almost 2 years, love." dumistansya ako.

"Sino bang nagsabi na ligawan mo ako? And when did I say na sasagutin kita?" he faked a hurt.

"Ouch, Astrid. Grabe ka talaga." I just rolled my eyes.

I've met Kayl before. Two years ago. Nagkataon kasi na nawala si East nung nagpunta kami sa mall. God knows for how many hours I've tried to find him. Hindi ako mapakali nun. Nawawala ang anak ko and I didn't know where I'd find him, for goodness sake!

Hindi kasi nahagip si Easton sa cctv camera. Like what the actual fuck! Nabaliw ako nun. I found myself crying dahil hindi ko na alam ang gagawin. But then there's him, Kayl. Tinawagan ako ng head ng mall na may nakakita daw sa anak ko and magkita nalang kami sa specific resto na sinabi niya. So I immediately went there to meet him. And thanks god. East was with him, eating his chocolate bar.

I thought... I was going to lose my son. But thanks to Kayl. I'd even remember that scene.

"God, thanks! Where have you been, Easton! Nabaliw ako kahahanap sa iyo!" I said. Almost cry. Kahit alam ko na hindi ako sasagutin ng anak ko.

"Ah. You're his mom. Akala ko pinabayaan mo iyong anak mo. Nakita ko siya dun sa supermarket. He was just sitting there in the chocolate area."

Kung nasa mood lang ako that time. Nakipag-away pa ako. Hindi naman ako pabaya. I didn't want that to happen. Who would? But then...

He looked at me. "Thankyo---." then cut me off.

"Kayl." he said.

I owe him a lot so I even invited him to had a dinner with us. Pasasalamat ko na rin. Then after that I met him again. On a freaking business party.

"You were not listening again, bakit ba parang lumilipad 'yung utak mo? Last week pa 'yan." he said then pouted his lips. Gosh! Ano siya teenager pa? Yuck.

"It's not cute, Kayl. I'm telling you." but he just smiled then gave me a kissed on the top of my head.

I've tried. Yes. I've already moved on. Yes, I am. Pero I'm scared. That one day. If I fall again, someone---might do that again. I can't endure that kind of pain, again. I was done with that. Sino bang nagsabing madali lang makalimutan lahat na nangyari between us. It was very hard for me back then. But If I just let myself drown in my past. Walang mangyayari so on progress. I learned to let go my gooddamn feelings and pinatay ko na talaga siya. For me, he's dead. Like what I've said.

He's a fucking mistake. Mistake that I'd never intend to correct. My big mistake.

Kayl is a special to me. When I needed someone. He's there for me. I knew how many times he said that he loves me and I'm in the process of loving him back, maybe? Who knows. Kayl assure me that I'm safe with him. He promised me that when I started to fall, he'll definitely catch me. I doubted at first. Natakot na kasi ako sa pangako na 'yan. Promises were just a freaking bullshit.

But before could someone hurt me. Uunahan ko na siya. I wouldn't let that happen. It was damn torture for me, again. I wouldn't let my guard down in an instant. Not again.

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