The Survivor (Book 1)

Day 18 Part 2

Conner looked up at the sky then back down. I saw his shoulders shake, he was crying. I took off his jacket, wrapping it around my waist and walked over there as quietly as I could. making no sound, hoping he couldn't hear the pain I was in I sucked in painful breath after painful breath.

The medicine was starting to fade. I sucked it up though and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Very gingerly."It's ok." I whispered in his ear he turned and without a moment's hesitation kissed me.

It was too much I pushed him away gently and sat on the ground, rocking. Images of Clato and Mathew rushed through my head. forcing me to kiss them.

"I'm sorry" I whimpered. curled on my side in the grass looking at Conner, he didn't look at me.

But I saw the pain on his face. "I'm sorry" I cried out again.

"They...they r*ped me..." I whispered. "That's why I shoved you away. they forced me to kiss them, if...if I refused... They hurt me." I continued on. "They r*ped me, Conner. Then left me after cutting words into my flesh. They left me very much alive. I wanted to die. I really really did."

He didn't say anything. "Connor listen to me!" I pleaded. finally, he looked at me with pain in his eyes.

"THEY R*PED ME! I WANTED TO DIE IT HURT SO BAD AFTER THEY LEFT ME THERE!" his eyes watered and he sat down in front if me lowering his head.

"I was passed out for 4 days I was in soo much PAIN!" he finally raised his head and looked at me but said nothing.

"I'm...I'm sorry Freya so so sorry" he slowly brushed my hair out of my face I flinched slightly. He lowered his hand and said nothing.

I didn't know what else to do. I screamed in anger, standing up I grabbed my Axes and despite the pain, I was in threw them furiously at a tree in front of me. The ones that didn't stick I threw again I kept doing that over and over.

"Freya, please calm down," Conner whispered standing up.

"CALM DOWN! I CANT CALM DOWN! THEY DID THIS TO ME!" I said crying angry tears I then took off my shirt. His eyes widened when he saw the words on my stomach.

"They did this to me," I said furiously. "THEY DID THIS TO ME! ME!" I dropped to my knees and wailed. Grabbing my hair I screamed, "THEY DID THIS TO ME!"

The angry tears turned to sad ones and After a few minutes Conner wrapped his arms around my bare back I froze and memories flashed again.

Clato pinning me to the tree... Forcefully grabbing my arms...

"Please let go!" I cried shoving him away and pulling back on my shirt.

I then curled into a ball.

I imagined Cathy here telling me "He isn't Clato Freya, he's nothing like him. This boy told all of Panem how much he likes you, he'd never ever r*pe you. you know that!"

I slowly relaxed my shoulders. "I'm sorry," I said crawling over to him and I cried on his chest. After I was fine I said "I... I have never wanted to kill someone more than ever in my life."

"It was Clato and Mathew huh?" I could only nod as I stood up arms wrapped around me.

He let go of me and said: "They did this to you. to my beautiful girlfriend. Believe me, Love I want them dead too. I can't believe they did this to you!" Then he punched a tree.

He then looked at me "You really don't look so good, we need to try to get food and water in you. you're so... so skinny." his voice breaking on the "skinny" I nodded.

We then headed to the cave.

By now my body was screaming in pain. part of the cuts were opening Conner looked worried.

I finally made it to the cave where Conner quickly got me some water.

I sipped it very very slowly. He also handed me some crushed up fruit. I ate that even slower. not even ten seconds later I was throwing it up.

By this point, Conner looked terrified. I wasn't running a fever or anything, food just wouldn't stay down.

My skin did look way paler than normal. I could see every single one of my ribs. And every single vein. Especially where Clato and Mathew cut me. I was definitely wasting away.

I closed my eyes and heard Conner plead. "please please please send something!" and no later than 5 minutes I heard the beeping of a sponsor gift.

I sat up and Conner took out a vile. "Drink this, " he said brushing my hair back.

I smiled at him sadly he quickly dropped his arm. and drank it. it tasted disgusting but apparently, it was medicine.

They were all out of the healing stuff, or it was beyond outrageously priced.

I looked up at the sky later on. And saw Cathy and Johnny's Faces. I pointed them out.

"They were the ones who helped me. before I approached you, they took night lock berries together as they said "Come together, stay together, die together." and that's exactly what they did."

Conner sat beside me "she was r*ped too you know. Cathy was. Johnny was there to help her through the pain. She told me you weren't those a**holes. And your not. Maybe I can get up enough courage to let you put your arms around me again. I just... I just need to tell myself your not them. Your not them."

Conner nodded and slowly put his arm on my shoulder. I flinched he's not them. I told myself and I relaxed sinking into his arms.

"I'll take all the time you need, Love. I promise."

"Okay," I replied laying down with him behind me. He traced the scars on my arms. And kissed me on the head. "Goodnight love" he whispered.

"Good night Connor " I whispered.

He then started humming and I closed my eyes knowing I was safe.

He's not them. I told myself again and relaxed. Closing my eyes.