She Paints Pain

Chapter 11

Rubbing the middle of my forehead furiously, I unzipped my backpack with one hand and removed my medicine. I needed my medicine badly after Zander accidentally hit me in the head with his elbow. Jackson blew up on him, shoving him and even punching Zander in the side of his face. I tried to apologize, but he stomped off before I could finish.

          Chloe calmed him down and they left a few minutes ago for their date. He put a wet rag on my head, gave me some Advil and kissed me on the head before he finally left. I know he gets really worried about my head because it’s extremely sensitive, but he did over-react.

          I lay down, pulling the blanket up to my chin and rubbed Ava’s back since she was lying down in front of the couch I’m lying on. Jackson told me to sleep on the couch so Logan can watch me since he’s the only one home that doesn’t completely hate me. Zander and Seth went out together, but I wasn’t able to pick up where. Beck never came home from Emma’s and Jackson thinks he went to the party even though he wasn’t supposed to.

          I don’t think Jackson cares that much whether he goes or not, but he wanted to act like Beck’s dad as much as he acts like mine. He wants Beck to have someone he can look up to.

          Blake’s up in his room doing something, but Jackson said he won’t be much of a babysitter even though I really don’t need one. He would never let me stay home alone without someone to watch me and I don’t get why if dad’s gone.

          It’s just me and Logan now and he’s watching some show on MTV that I’ve never heard of. Logan’s always been the nicest one, even if he barely looks at me and never talks directly to me.

          I picked up the crumpled ball of paper that fell out of my backpack and opened it, scanning down the paper to see what it is. A girl handed it to me as I was walking out of lunch today, but I didn’t get to read it because I was running late.

          It stated the details of an upcoming dance next week that would be that last one this year besides prom. It described what type of dance it was, the occasion, when and where it would take place. I’ve never been to a dance, I’ve never been asked to one and I’ve usually been busy when they come around, but I wanted to make this last one before prom.

          Beck’s been to one dance, but that was in the eighth grade before he found out everything about me. Jackson went to a few, but they were with girlfriends, not just random dates. Beck’s told me he only went for the liquor in the punch bowl and to make out with some girls, but that might not have been a school dance.

          I looked down at Blizzard, who was lying beside me on the couch with his chin on my hip. I stroked his head, smiling at him because I suddenly felt excited that I might go.

          Of course, I would need a date. If I didn’t show up with a guy the popular girls would humiliate me and I would never be able to go back to school again.

          I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair a few times, trying to think this through. Maybe a guy will ask me to be his date for this dance, but there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to dance with him because of my anxiety.

          For a second I imagined going to the dance with Blake and having my first dance with him; in a dress I spent hours looking for with my perfect hair and make-up that Chloe helped me spend hours on. Maybe I should ask him.

          I shoved the paper back in my bag and took my pills, lying back down to take the nap I promised Jackson I would take to rest my head. I fell asleep imagining slow dancing with Blake, completely alone without a care in the world.