Just Wait |Dylan O'Brien| ~IN EDITING~

{2}

"Alright, babe, have a good night," Jackson said and leaned over to place a kiss on my lips.

He had driven me home after the amazing afternoon I had with him and we were sitting in his warm car, afraid to feel the cold of the winter.

"Love you," I said and hopped out of the car. When I was about to open the door to my house, I turned around and twinkled my fingers at him and he returned the wave. I then walked into my house and placed my bag near the door.

Whenever I said 'love you' to Jackson, it always felt forced out of me, and it was as if I didn't mean it. Also, our relationship felt forced since we were both the most popular students in the school. Our kisses were just for show, but I liked him...not love.

"Honey!" My mom called from the kitchen snapping me out of my thoughts. "Can you come here? We need to talk."

Ever since my dad passed away, my mom has always tried to bond with me more. So, she probably just wants to hear more about Jackson or Lily. I walked into the kitchen as instructed and felt worried about what my mom would say, but happy at the same time. I grabbed an apple from a bowl on the counter and tossed it back and forth between my hands and that's when I saw her; she was sitting at the table with a rather upsetting look on her face.

"Please have a seat," she said. So I sat down and took a juicy bite into the apple.

"As you know, I've been having a hard time looking for a full time job and, well, I'm just going to say it," she said with no emotion and spontaneously started to cry.

"Hey, mom," I said, trying to comfort her. I had never seen her cry, not even at my dad's funeral, so I didn't quite know how to react. "Everything is going to be alright."

"No," she whispered quietly. "I'm so sorry sweetie. I know this is the house you grew up in, had so many memories in. Seventeen years of your life, you lived here, but," she started to cry even more. I was speechless. I didn't know how to console her. "You can't live here anymore."

Now my eyes were the ones starting to tear up.  "Why?" I asked.

"I don't have enough money to support the both of us anymore. You are going to have to move to New York to live with your Aunt Cassie." She couldn't stop crying. I had never seen my mother cry this much before.

"I..." I couldn't form any words, nothing was coming out. "I could get a part-time job to get more money and-"

"No," she said sternly while cutting me off. I had a sudden rush of anger because she didn't even have faith in me, in us. To control my anger, I simply dug my nails into the bright red fruit that was in my hands. The sticky juice splashed onto my forearms but that was the least of my worries at the moment.

"You don't understand, that still wouldn't be enough. I'm so so sorry your teenage years had to turn out like this, I'm so sorry. It's not what Daddy would've wanted" and she kept on crying.

"Mom..." I pulled my fingernails out of the apple and I stood up to give her a hug. "I will always love you, no matter what goes on. I promise." I was so in the moment, I didn't want the hug to ever end, ever. But it did.

"You leave on Saturday," she said calmly as she wiped a few stray tears from her cheeks.

"That's only 2 days away, that's not enough time for me to say goodbye to everyone, not even you!" Anger came back to me and I knew this decision was unavoidable, but I couldn't control it. I re-ran the last sentence I said in my head and all of a sudden, the word "everyone", struck me with pain in my now broken heart and I thought of Jackson. I turned pale.

"Is everything all right? It looks like you've seen a ghost." It was true, it was like I did see a ghost; more like the ghost of my past I was about to experience once I moved.

"Jackson..." I whispered.

"What sweetie?" my mom asked and stood up from the table.

"Jackson," I said again, only louder this time. Jackson and I were dating for 2 years and I didn't want to end our relationship over distance.

"Oh, Nicole. I'm so sorry," and that's all she said. She planted her hands in the soap-filled sink and started to clean the dishes. "You should get to bed, it's late. Start saying goodbye to everyone tomorrow."

"I'm alone...I'm alone..." I whispered to myself in-between tears. I didn't move from my spot, I just sat at the table for another hour thinking what was going to happen to my life. I cried some more. Thought again. And finally, continuing the pattern, I cried myself to sleep.