Blue Denim

Part 9

The following few days went by without any specific incidents. Stevie spent most of her time in the clinic writing, trying her best to distract herself from the withdrawal symptoms she was suffering from, while the alternative tranquilizer she had been given by her new doctor was reduced by 10 percent every second day.

Additional to feeling cold on a regular basis, her hands had started to shake uncontrollably, making it very difficult for her to write. The shaking would stop though, as soon as she took her daily dose of benzodiazepine. Stevie was just glad that the horrible headaches she had experienced the first two days had finally stopped. 

Sighing, she stood up from the bed, carefully making her way into the bathroom. Walking had become quite a challenge for her. After undressing herself, she climbed into the shower, glad that there had been installed handles which she could hold onto and not risk slipping and falling again. Feeling the hot water cascading down on her, she closed her eyes and tried to relax for a moment. She knew Lindsey was most likely going to come over and check on her again soon, so she needed to hurry up some. Stevie had to smile thinking about him. Never ever had she thought, that the two of them would become so close again. It was almost, as if the past seven years without having any contact, had never existed.

About ten minutes later, Stevie got out of the shower. She was drying herself off with a towel when she recognized it for the first time. In shock, she took a look at her face in the mirror, screaming in agony. Her skin was literally molting.

"Nooo.", she whimpered, softly rubbing over her cheeks with her fingertips but only more skin peeled itself off, "No, no, no, noooo..."

"Stevie? Are you in the bathroom?", she heard Lindsey's voice from the other side of the door. Obviously, he had come by earlier.

Stevie looked at the door in shock. She couldn't let him see her like this. He already looked at her as if she was some fragile, little wreck.

"Yes. I.. I just took a shower.", she yelled back, "It's gonna take some more time. Why don't you just go and get yourself a coffee?", groaning, she needed to give her legs some rest and sat down on the toilet lid. This was all becoming too much for her.

Lindsey furrowed his brow as he heard her groan, "Stevie, are you alright?", he stepped closer to the bathroom door and knocked gently.

"Yes.", she answered, doing her best to suppress the upcoming tears. Wasn't it enough already that she had gained 45 pounds, that her hands were shaking uncontrollably and her knees were weak? Did she really have to lose the only thing left that she had always found attractive about her self? Her skin that is.

Slowly, Lindsey pushed down the door handle, for security reasons no door in the clinic was lockable. 

"Hey..", he said softly, taking in the image of her sitting on the toilet lid, only wrapped in a towel and with still damp hair.

"No.. Lindsey, please..", she whimpered, turning her face away from him and covering it with her hands, "Please, get out."

"What's wrong, huh?", he asked instead, kneeling down in front of her, "Are you in pain?"

She closed her eyes in response, taking a deep breath.

"Stevie, whatever it is..", Lindsey said, trying to pull her hands away from her face.

"No!", she yelled angrily, freeing her hands from his grasp, "Get out! For fuck's sake! Get out of the bathroom!"

"What happened to your face?", he asked in shock, having caught a glimpse at it.

"No..", she said again, eagerly shaking her head, "Don't look at me. Please, don't look at me.." Stevie tried to get up, making her way out of the bathroom on wobbly legs, wanting nothing but escape his presence when she almost fell, Lindsey catching her last minute before she could hurt herself.

"Stevie..", he muttered helplessly, when she then started to cry in his arms, "Baby, no, please.. What happened? What is wrong with you?"

But Stevie didn't answer. Instead, she buried her face even deeper in the crook of his arm as a heavy crying fit overwhelmed her.

"Please, Stevie.", he sighed, "Tell me what's going on. Let me help you. I can't help you if you won't talk to me."

She just kept on crying, desperately holding onto the collar of his shirt. She just couldn't take it anymore. Every time that she would take a look at herself in the mirror, she recognized herself less and less. That was not her. It couldn't be. What had she turned into?

"Oh, dear God, what am I supposed to do?", Lindsey pleaded. He felt so helpless as he rocked her back and forth in his arms, "Stevie, please, talk to me."

"My skin..", she whimpered eventually, sensing the desperation in his voice, when she lifted up her head and looked at him with her tear-stained face, "It's molting, Lindsey. Look at my face!"

Lindsey brushed a few blonde curls out of her face, then took it in-between his hands to take a good look at her. She was right, her skin was indeed peeling itself off, "Don't worry.", he muttered, softly touching her cheeks, "I'm going to get you a good face cream. It's all going to be okay again, you'll see. It's not as bad as you think it is, Steph. This is only temporary."

"I feel so unattractive..", Stevie sobbed as she held onto him.

Lindsey shook slowly his head, "You're not unattractive. Your body has just been through a lot. It's gonna take some time for you to heal. Don't worry.. You'll be back to your old self in no time..", he placed a loving kiss on her forehead, then pulled her back into his arms.

"It's just that... well, my whole life I've always been admired for the way that I look. I never had to worry about my figure or my face, my skin.. Seeing all of this changing for the worse.. well, that hurts.", she confessed.

Lindsey nodded in response. He understood perfectly well what she was talking about. Eversince he could remember, Stevie had been admired by masses of people. Wherever they had been to, plenty of men had looked after her. And as much as he had loved having such a beautiful girlfriend, seeing other men wanting her, had always made him extremely jealous. His jealousy and possessiveness was what had caused their breakup, eventually, Stevie cheating on him because she had been tired of his constant accusations. 

"There is so much more about you than just the way you look.", Lindsey said, causing Stevie to look up at him with her big, brown eyes, while he softly caressed the side of her face, "You're so much more than just a pretty face, Stevie. And though seeing your body go through so many changes at the moment may hurt you, all of it is going to be okay again. Your look is not what makes you a great woman. It's what's in here..", he said, taking one of her hands and pressing it to her chest, right where her heart was beating.

Stevie looked him straight in the eyes, letting his words sink in, until she eventually spoke up again, "I should have never let you go."