Joker&Harley Oneshots

well...

"Yes Mistah J, I have. I've decided to wait and think about it more. Maybe go to da doctor or something." She said and shrugged. "whatever you think is best harley girl." He told with a soft smile. She yawned and started making her way back to bed. "Rocco!" joker screamed loudly for one of the henchmen. Rocco knocked on their bedroom door before stepping inside "yes boss?' he asked looking at joker who was looking at a sleeping Harley who was tucked into their bed. "Harley needs to be taken to the doctor tomorrow, I can't take her or else I'd be throw back in Arkarm do you understand? Joker told him without making eye contact. "but boss?" Rocco asked the green hair man nervously. Joker growled and turn around smiling, to look at the man who dare question him. "what is it?" he asked though his sliver teeth. "Mrs. Quinn...well she isn't...well she don't look right boss." Rocco told him while moving his shirt around his neck. Joker's smile disappeared completely "Are you being to say my girl isn't attractive?" he asked the henchmen bitterly. Rocco began to raise his voice in defense "No, sir of course not, I mean she looks uh..." he said loudly. "Ughhh!! Will you shut the fuck up, you idoit!" Joker softly screamed and pulled the stupid henchmen by his shirt into the hallway and closed the door behind them. Joker pointed to him "If you wake her up" he said then pointed to the door he just closed. "I will break every single bone in your mindless body!" he told the henchmen. Rocco just nodded in fear. Joker saw the fear on his face and smiled. "Now what were you saying about Harley being unattractive?' joker asked him nicely. "I didn't mean it like that sir." Rocco stumbled on his words. Joker laughed and pulled out his gun then pointed it to Rocco's head. "It's all about how you tell the joke, that's what makes it funny. Not what the joke means." Joker said then pulled the trigger. He laughed again the bent down over the dead body and said "See the difference between you and I Rocco old boy, is I go out with a very attractive woman. And you go out with a bang." Joker told the lifeless body and then laughed and went back in his bedroom where he held Harley until he fell asleep.

In the morning, Harley woke up to find joker sleeping next her mumbling things about batman. She smiled and kissed his cheek, when she did he groaned and moved to his side. Harley got up and put on a brown wig, covered her heart tattoo with fountain, then put on her black leather pants and A red shirt and walked out the door to get in the car. She drove recklessly to the hospital, once she got there a lady handed her a paper told her to fill it out, bring it back. Then a doctor will be with her. So Harley did as she was told, expect instead of putting Harleen Quinzel as her name, she put Abbigail Wayne. The doctor called her into the bright white room. She told him "Ya see me and my boyfran been having unprotected sex, and I peeded one this stick thingy yesterday and it says I'm gonna have a baby. But I don't know how long I've been like this for." She told the doctor vastly in her thick Boston accent. But he seemed to keep up. "Well Ms. Wayne, If you will lay back. I'll take a look." The doctor told her and she nodded then lied back. After some touching that Harley didn't like very much, and a blood test. The doctor told her she was in fact not pregnant. Harley didn't know how to react and just told him thank you, and drove back home, To be met at the door by Joker "where have you been!??!" the joker asked her worriedly. "I missed ya too, I went to the doctor." She told him taking off her wig and grabbing a soda. "And what did he say?" Joker acting looking at her seriously. "I aint having a baby." She told him and took a slip of her grape soda. Joker smirked "Well, no harm no foul." He said happily and Harley nodded. He then walked behind her and hugged her from behind and kissed her neck. Which made her giggle. "how ya doing sucker?" he asked her playfully. "A'okay mistah j." she smiled and said in reply