Joker&Harley Oneshots

Pain in the ass

"Bye harls" Ivy tells me when we got to the door of  my and joker's hideout. "It was fun red, text me got it." I told her playfully. We hugged and she blew me a kiss then walked back out into the streets of Gotham. That girls night was needed and I had a lot of fun but Joker is gonna kill me for staying out this late. I walked into hide out to find all the lights was off, meaning he was asleep. I took off my black and red heels then set them by the door. I slowly walked to our bedroom trying not to make loud sounds but it was hard to see in the pitch black. I finally made my way into our bedroom and flipped on the light, I herd him moan and then saw him turn his body so his face was hidden in a pillow. I striped out of the black dress with red aces then took off my bra as well and slipped into one of Mistah J's shirts. I got in bed next to him "Psssst...wake up!" I told him then giggled. "Mmm...no baby. Time to sleep." he told me and turned over with his back now facing me. I hit his back, not that hard but hard enough. "No! it's time to get up!" I yelled at him. He turned back over to face me "Ugh...come here baby." Puddn told me, then he wrapped his arms around me and threw his leg over mine. I snuggled into to him "You only wanna cuddle so I won't make you get up!" I told him loudly. A evil smirk crossed his face, he made a fake gasp and said  "I would never to such a thing!" then closed his eyes again. I turned my head around to look at him "I'm on to your tricks mistah!" I then got a snore in reply. I rolled my eyes and pouted, this is so not fair.  I got out of his tight embrace and got on top of him roughly which woke him up. "What the fuck are you doing Harley?" Joker asked obviously  irritated that I won't let him sleep. "I'm in charge now." I told him in my bratty voice.  "Oh really?" he asked scanning me.  "I don't believe you." Mistah J told me with a smirk and a raised eyebrow . "I am." I whined. "you're not in charge kitten." he told me strictly. Then he tried to turn back around but I held him in place. He looked back at me and let out a sigh. " fine. You want to be in charge, go ahead. What are you gonna do?" he said. I bent down and kissed him softly then I fell off him. "Puddn!" I yelled and giggled.  Joker smirked "Yeah that's what I thought." He said then got out out of bed and I sat up. He walked across the room and turned off the light, then walked back to me.  He grabbed me by the neck and pined me to the bed "Bedtime. now. understand me?" He asked threateningly. I giggled "Yes sir." I told him. "Good girl." Mistah J growled before pulling me to him once again. I was almost a sleep when I herd him say my name. "Yes Puddn?" I answered. "You're a pain in the ass." he told me and I giggled.