Shinobi (Sequel to Otokage)

He's Not Gonna Fall For That.

Deidara looked down at the three files in his hands, unable to stop the tremors echoing through his bones. He was in his early forties, damn it all, and he'd been in the shinobi business for at least thirty of them. Why was this scaring him? Was it his age?

He looked up at his Kage- still bright and youthful and beautiful even at the cusp of turning thirty-eight herself- and scowled.

"I refuse to take this team, un."

Sakura raised a delicate pink eyebrow.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Absolutely everything," he said, and her eyebrow raised higher. "You're giving me a genin team of trolls, hm! One, they're going to be more hyper than any other time I've had the past practically two decades. Two, they have no concept of personal space-- did I tell you about the time they broke into my apartment just for shits and giggles? Because they did that, un! They did it because they're evil."

Kabuto snorted from his place to the Shodai's left. "I don't think you're in any position to put the word 'evil' against yourself."

"Besides, you're one of the few people they'll actually try and listen to at least half the time," Sakura grinned. "You could always use the 'I used to change your diapers when you were babies' threat."

Deidara groaned and looked back at the files. Like he needed to be reminded about that time in his life when he was unofficial babysitter #1 for his stupid friends. He opened the three folders simultaneously and stacked them in a way he could see all three photos of his new genin team at the same time. 

The first was a boy with messy black hair, dark green eyes, and a huge smile. The second was a girl with the same wide grin at the first, but with dark purple hair and wide black eyes. The third was a boy with a softer expression, snowy white hair braided over his shoulder, and happy hazel eyes.

Uchiha Satoshi, Hoshigaki Ren, and Rinha Takeo.

Why couldn't they just skin him instead of giving him this devil squad?

He must've said that out loud, because Sakura full on laughed at him despite the fact that he now had to buy hair dye to cover the gray hairs he knew was sure to come.

"They're not that bad, Deidara."

"You're only saying that because one of them's your son, hm," he pouted. He looked back down at the files dejectedly and started to draft his will in his head. 

::

Three twelve year olds sat in an empty classroom as they awaited the arrival of their new genin teacher. The youngest of the three, Satoshi, carefully observed their surroundings. Normally his bangs would be in his eyes, barring anyone else from seeing the upper half of his face, but his friends seemed to have none of that today and tied it on the crown of his head with one of Takeo's maroon scrunchies.

"We're probably going to get Deidara-oji, right?" Satoshi hummed. "Kaa-san wouldn't tell me who'd be our sensei, but he's the only one who could handle us. Besides Sasori-oji, but he's not taking a team this year."

Takeo eyed him carefully as he continued to braid his waist-long hair.

"I don't like that look on your face, Shi-kun. Please don't tell me you're go-"

"You wanna prank him, huh?!" Ren interrupted with a predatory glint in her eyes. "Count me in! What are we going to do this time? We already did bugs, spray paint, glitter... do we even have time to go out and get something before he comes? Because after what happened last time with the kunai and exploding tags..."