Never Ending

Chapter Fifteen

I've been locked for a day inside my room. When I went outside to go to the gardens, I heard my parents talking at the kitchen. "Ugh she's such a drama queen." My mother said in Deutsch.

"I thought we've talked this through." Father said, a little impatient.

"I am trying but look at her, she demanding attention from everybody non-verbally."

My father sighed. "Traudl, just try harder. She'll be spending more time with us now."

I ran towards the gardens as if I hadn't heard their conversation. I sat by the fountain in the middle of the garden then look at the statue of Eros at the top of the fountain. I have always known that my mother hated me, I didn't know when it exactly started but as soon as I was hitting puberty, she started treating me as if I was just some responsibility rather than her real child. I can always see and feel how different she treated me from Nikolai. Father may have been strict with me but at least I can somehow feel like I matter to him unlike my mother. A tear fell down to my cheek and I immediately wipe it away. This isn't home.

According to Johanne-- our butler—Papa has insisted that Nikolai go back to school to continue his studies in Oxford. I never felt more alone. I wish Nonna was here.

"Vita?" Mama called. I look over my shoulder and saw her walking towards me, wearing an elegant white dress with heels and a hat.

"Ja, Mama?" I asked, trying to sound a little less depressed as I really am.

She stopped by the fountain and smile down at me. "The party is only two days away. We must do something about what you should wear."

"Can't I use my old dresses?" I said as I face her, still sitting by the fountain.

"Nonsense! I can't let Deutschland see my only daughter in a wretched used dress to her own party." She extended her hand towards me. "Come. We must find you a perfect dress for the party."

I took a deep breath and took my mother's hand. She helps me to my feet and brought my arms around her. "Remind me what your favorite color is again? Is it purple?" She asked as we walk to the door, making our way out of the garden.

I know she's only doing this because father insisted but still, it felt a little better knowing that somehow she's trying and that she's somehow treating me like she used to when I was still a child. I smiled for the first time but do not meet my eyes. "My favorite color changed to lavender and blue now, Mama." I said, trying my best not to insult her.

She chuckled. "Of course! How silly of me!"

My mother let me change in my room. After having her approval, she covers my puffy eyes and dark circles around my eyes with a little concealer and foundation. When she thinks that I'm appropriate enough to go out, we went to the boutiques and continue to shop.

The thing about having a very famous actress for a mother, you'll always have to stop by when fans came along and let them take their picture. My mom has always been patient with her fans, she makes sure that they all get to hug her and have a picture of her. It's been a long time since I've seen my mother up close. We have grown far off that it amazes me every time I see her do remarkable things like this.

When we enter a boutique, everybody seems to know that a star has entered the room. They move differently when she's around. It's as if they have to be their very best for her.