Behind the mask

Numb

Astrid was immensely grateful when her mother arrived because Hiccup was utterly broken by his mother's death...and Alvin, in a final vicious blow, had removed himself as a contact and from any responsibility for Valka's final illness. Hiccup was landed with responsibility for her hospital bills and for arranging the undertaker and the funeral at a time when he was least able to cope.

But Ingrid refused to let him deal with it alone and had sat by him, her arm around him and leaning close. "I will help," she told him gently, "but please tell me what you want, Hiccup. She's your Mom and I know you want to do what's best for her..." He nodded silently, his eyes still unfocussed.

"Cremated," he murmured. "She observed the old religion. I will get Dad's Memorial inscribed with her name...but I know where she needs to go. I will do my Final Duty to her once things settle..." Astrid took his hand and he raised her hand to his lips. "I know, Milady. But I know where she would want to rest and I can't go there now. I need to wait until after school finishes."

"Whatever you say, babe," she said gently. "You wanna come home..."

He lifted his head and a tear escaped, slowly trickling down his cheek.

"I don't want to leave her alone," he whispered.

"She'll be well cared-for...I promise," Ingrid said gently. "And she's not here...she's with your father and safe..." He nodded and bowed his head, shaking again. Astrid wrapped her arms around him and held him, looking up to meet her mother's warning look. Above all things, Astrid knew she was responsible for looking after the boy because he was at his most vulnerable now...and he needed the people who loved him around him to help him through.

oOo

Astrid awoke the next morning, her head muzzy. Then she frowned: it was Valentine's Day and she had been looking forward to spending her first Valentine's with a boyfriend...but Hiccup's mother had died the previous day and she felt stupid and selfish for even considering such an inconsequential consideration. And even worse when she looked to her bedside table and saw a neatly wrapped package lying on a handmade envelope with Hiccup's slightly scruffy handwriting on the front. She sat up, ran her hands through her messed up hair and stared at the gifts, then gently lifted the envelope and opened it, seeing a beautifully painted picture of Astrid in a heart-shaped border, with the legend 'Miss Perfect' written underneath. Inside, was the very simple message:

To me, you are perfect and I love you with all my heart, forever- Your Bad Boy H

She blinked, her eyes suddenly burning with tears. If Snotlout had written that, she would be scoffing at a cheap sentiment easily expressed...but this was Hiccup and he didn't say things he didn't mean. Especially to her. The words were a real declaration...so with a shaking hand, she lifted the package and found the little gold bracelet, shimmering on the red velvet cushion. Eyes wide, she lifted it up and put it on, lifting her head and grabbing her card and present and heading for his room...but when she entered, the bed was neatly made and the room was empty.

She urgently dressed, braided her hair and raced downstairs, finding her parents in the kitchen. It was Saturday and they were relaxing.

"Where's Hiccup?" she asked urgently. Ingrid gave a sad smile.

"He went out with Toothless about an hour ago," she said. "Though he looked as if he hadn't slept a wink." Astrid slumped into a chair and accepted the coffee she was given.

"I-I can't imagine how he must be feeling," she said hopelessly. "I know his Mom sided with Alvin and disowned him only a few days ago...but he really loved her and he went through Hel to try to protect her and stay with her. And it's almost like he lost her twice...once when she disowned him and again when she died." She sighed. "I'm really worried for him."