Concupiscence | HS | currently on hold

X. Moondance

'And all the night's magic seems to whisper and hush. And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush. Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love.'
Moondance - Van Morrison

A big, desperate, helpless sigh erupted from his lips. His head fell down onto his kitchen counter and the loud bang resounded through his flat. Even though he loved going to university and felt extremely fortunate being in the situation he was in, when it came down to exams, Harry seriously wanted the university to go fuck itself. He had been spending three hours of his valuable time, trying to comprehend the differences between the Roman Basilica and the early modern one, apart from the obvious difference in century, he was doing a shit job at remembering the other vital differences.

Conclusion? He loved taking the damn pictures and painting the damn art rather than to study its history. At this moment, he couldn't care less. Especially since all he did seem to care about were Nina's lips. He couldn't get them out of his head. He dreamt off it night and day. In the shower, out of the shower, whilst making coffee or whilst drinking his usual cup of tea. So instead of studying, he pondered his mind, trying to come up with a good enough reason to call her, maybe even see her.

During the past weeks after the party at Lagoon, kissing Nina hadn't happened again. He had however thankfully felt a switch in Nina's behaviour towards him. Even though Harry was very well aware of the fact they had been shitfaced on the dance floor, somehow Nina seemed much more at ease around him, more relaxed. He remembered the whole bubble idea of his, thought back of it during the last three weeks.

He was surprised she had taken it so seriously, which ultimately made him wonder why she had this desperate urge to escape her life. What was going that wrong in order to make her want to hide away? The thought stabbed him gently in the heart, but he could still feel the slow pain of it spreading more vehemently whenever he thought about the unhappiness of this beautiful girl.

However, he desperately wanted to kiss her again, so so much. He didn't want Nina to be just another fling, he had figured this much. The stupid peculiar feeling hadn't left him, he was slowly unwrapping the mystery. The feeling was this burning desire and care which could only grow. He wasn't scared anymore of the unknown, if the feeling was what he thought it could be. If this peculiar feeling was love, then he was going to embrace it for the first time ever. He wasn't going to think about the possibility of being hurt as all the songs and books so passionately talked about. He wanted to find out everything there was to know about love on his own.

So for now, he had contented himself with seeing her two to three times a week. Nina was still tutoring him - for which by the way he was making fantastic progress - but he would also simply hang out with her at his flat or invite her to hang out with his friends and Niall. He loved seeing her opening up and becoming more social. Yet what he loved to see the most was her moving around in his home, making it seem so effortless, so common, as if she had been hanging out there for years, as if she had barged into the rooms more than he could count. What Nina didn't know and probably never would, was that no other girl had ever set one foot in these spaces.

It was his sanctuary only she could enter.

The only slight disadvantage about Harry's sudden decision of taking it slow with Nina was...well...He hadn't had sex in ages. And him being a very sexual creature - it was sometimes really hard to resist. Yet his desire for Nina was stronger, making him ultimately as proud as he ever could be. He had obviously relieved himself in certain ways countless times, but that was the absolute minimum. He was a man after all.