Concupiscence | HS | currently on hold

XV. Sexual healing

'And when I get that feeling, I want sexual healing. Sexual healing, oh baby. Makes me feel so fine, helps to relieve my mind. Sexual healing baby, is good for me.'
Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye

"Unlike some of my friends over there, I'm not here to hook up. I'm just looking for someone who I can spend time with. So if sex is what's on your mind, I'll have to disappoint you, young man."

Harry looked down at the cream coloured business card with elegant letters typed on it in charcoal ink. He sighed and pouted his lips indecisively, thinking back to what the woman at the bar had clearly articulated to him. Harry reached for his phone, but whimpered out at the last minute. Should he really call her?

Claire Edwards.

So poised, so composed, so elegant. The kind of mature woman any young guy such as himself would fall on his knees for. She had these wrinkles around her brown eyes which made her smile even more radiantly. Her hair was perfectly brushed, perfectly taken care off. She showed such ravishing grace and sangfroid.

Somehow, Harry could compare her to a giant blunt. Back at the bar he had taken one blow and was so engrossed by her, so high on her that he wanted more. He was lifted up, up in the sky, away from all his troubles and nightmares and flew into a cloud of bliss, of oblivion and forgetfulness.

Was that why he wanted to call her?

Many people said the most effective cure to a broken heart was a rebound. Yet deep down, Harry knew that a rebound could maybe be an effective cure, but it certainly wasn't the best one. Wasn't time supposed to be the ultimate healer? Probably. However Harry didn't have time. He didn't know for sure how much longer he could stand the pain he still felt. It just wasn't like him. So all he wanted to do, was find a way to make him stop thinking about Nina.

Memories of that particular evening at the bar with Claire floated through his mind. Snippets of their ever interesting conversation brought a smile to his face. She had told him about her many travels overseas, to the land of the new, bright and shiny. He contributed to the conversation by adding his possible plans for the future, but Harry didn't elaborate on it. He did however tell her about his cousin's wedding, about his hidden talents as a singer, told her that he would maybe have been in a real professional band if he would've lived another life. In hindsight, the evening had been far too short because before they knew it, the hen party moved to another location.

Their conversation flow didn't seem over. Harry felt as if they had so much more information to share, so much more secrets to unravel. However, he couldn't rid himself of one idea, despite what she had said. There was a sexual attraction present. It drew him in, made him think of her. It made him want to be in her presence. He had no clue if Claire was doing it on purpose or if she was simply unaware of her sensual looks and movements. But the attraction was there.

And Harry liked it.

The idea of having someone different to talk to was very appealing and undoubtedly refreshing. He couldn't talk about matters of the heart with Louis, or Carter or any of his friends, apart from maybe Tim. Then again, he had never loved before so he might not fully understand the gravity of it all. The only person he was able to talk to on a deeper level with was either his mum, which just didn't seem as the ultimate solution, or Nina.

On top of not having anyone to talk to, he recently had created the habit of overthinking everything, from what he would wear, to what he wanted to eat for breakfast. With the habit of overthinking came the habit of looking way too deep into emotions.