One Thousand And One Wishes: MikaYuu

incessant fear

chapter five

mikaela

I sighed.

Of all the things I simply detested, my school was most likely number one. I recall being home-schooled throughout middle school. However, my grandmother sent me to high school because she thought that I should become more sociable with people my own age. I absolutely loathed school and the thought of my grandmother made my stomach lurch and salty tears stung my eyes.

Of course, I could simply ditch but she taught me to toughen up and pull through. Another reason why I wanted to be out of my house was because a so-called Genie was crashing at my place. The last thing I wanted was to be in a room with someone who was being sympathetic but also looked like a hot mess.

Slamming my locker, I shoved my textbooks into my bag and clung onto my pencil case as I made my way through the hallway. Keeping my head down, I avoided eye contact with anyone.

The first few classes were pretty much a blur. Sitting at the protagonist seat- the seat by the window- I started out through the window watching the world go by. There was a park right outside, lush with greenery and you could hear young children laughing through the open window. I noticed a couple, with their hands intertwined, swinging their arms back and forth and basically skipping down the path. A mother with her children running around her. A runner with his dog and then an old lady... my grandmother would usually take strolls through this park at this time; she knew my timetable and right about know I'd be smiling down at her as she waved. Last week I was smiling and she was waving.

This week was very different.

I loved some lessons however, there were some aspects I hated. Such as what had happened during English Literature that day. "Hyakuya Mikaela. Please stand up and read to the class the Shakespeare sonnet 18 extract I have just handed out." She may have been asking politely but one couldn't say no to her obvious demand.

Speaking out in front of a crowd was something I hated more than school. I don't know what is was but my whole body would start shaking, my voice would sound croaky or I'd be whispering, my palms would be sweating buckets, my heart would be pumping so loud, I swear to god, I would be one hundred percent sure everyone could hear my fear. I didn't dare make eye contact as she repeated her demand. I could hear the incessant whispering that left my classmates mouths. The words were always the same but they still stung and I didn't know if I could ever be intolerant to such heartlessness.

I slowly pushed myself up from my desk, my hands shivering as they dug into the sides of the paper. I opened my mouth several times but not once did words come out. The teacher cleared her throat, pushing her glasses up, said: "come on now, we don't have all day, boy!" In which the classroom erupted with laughter.

I tried to force down the fear, taking a few breaths and my nails had officially left holes in the paper. "Sh-Shall... I... c-compare thee-" My voice got quieter and quieter by each word. A few students yelled out for me to be louder even the teacher asked me to repeat myself. I stood there for a few minutes rigid and frozen in the spot. It was understandable that I'd feel this was because I knew there was something wrong with me. It wasn't as though I couldn't talk. I could talk, the problem was the thousands of eyes glaring at me, burning me with their dissatisfied gazes. I just wasn't good enough and I could hear their jeering loud enough I was only a few insults away from my brain forcing deafness onto my ears.

'It was only in my head,' said all those school therapists.

I couldn't hear much but at some point the teacher suggested I leave the classroom to take a breather. I threw my bag over my shoulder, grabbed my textbook and speed-walked out of the classroom and the last thing I heard was the snickering and taunts.

I began trudging down the hallway with my arms wrapped around my side, I was still shaking. The feeling of helplessness and looking so weak was something that came naturally to me although I usually had someone I could go to, but she was long gone.

I ended up in the library; the library was my safe haven. I threw myself into the beanbag chairs, sinking deeper and deeper into the comfortable seat. I pulled out a book and slowly curled up, completely entranced and absorbed by the words on the white sheets of paper. I was zoned out and for those few hours, I forgot everything and I was living someone else's adventurous life; a life filled with joy, sadness but of course, a life with a beautiful happy ending... something my one seemed to lack.

The end of the school day came too soon and I stretched out both my arms and legs, then heaved myself up and strolled out of the library after saying a farewell to the librarian.

My school day couldn't end so perfectly.

A few steps away from my locker and someone had their arms thrown over my shoulder. His black hair in my eyes and his arms pulling me closer into him, I'd like to introduce Rene. I didn't have to look far to find Lacus, his purple haired friend, who was pulling at my blonde hair. I pursed my lips as I swallowed down a few pained groans. The same words, same insults. A 'freak', 'weirdo' and as always a 'fag'. I slapped away his hand and sped up, trying to get away from the two.

I finally ended up out of the school but that didn't stop them. I was pushed into a wall and a fist found my gut. Oxygen left my lungs as I choked on the blood. The pain was intolerable, my knees buckled and I fell. I was gasping for air, like a fish out of the water. With crossed eyes, I looked up to find a grinning purple-haired boy. His arm was bent back, his fists tensed and I shut my eyes, awaiting impact.

"Hey, leave my boyfriend alone!"

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A/N: cliche af ending but Yuu is Yuu. Yuu is a hopeless romantic. You is Yuu.

Also, describing social anxiety is probably the hardest thing ever in my opinion because I do not have it. The complete opposite of someone who has it. Sigh, I'm sorry for anyone who has it since it seems hard to deal with.

Anyhoos! Hope you enjoyed Mika in this chapter hope you enjoyed the angst but there may be fluff in the next chapter. Probably

Bye says Sasu!