Boy meets girl, girl falls in love, blah-blah-blah.
Let me be clear with you from the beginning. This is not that kind of story.
My name is Cait, and I live in the great city of New York. Okay, so maybe I've only lived here for a week and a half...
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"Cait!" My name was shouted to my right, echoed over and over as more fans began to join in the cries. "Cait's here!"
I wiped away an errant tear as it trickled down my cheek, my eyes locked on the back of Andrew's head as the shouts of my name grew louder and louder. It felt like an eternity, caught in a bubble of time and space that forced me to endure what seemed like the worst moment of my life, as I prayed for him to hear. For him to turn around. For him to find me.
There are moments in life that change everything, whether you realize it or not. When you make a decision for one seemingly insignificant thing that ends up altering the course of your life. Taking the bus instead of walking might save you from being hit by a car. Getting stuck in traffic might prevent you from boarding a flight fated to crash. Fighting with your best friend might lead you to meeting the love of your life.
For me, it was a hot dog.
My favorite New York City tradition, a massive hot dog from Amir's stand on 59th street just outside Central Park, brought me to this moment in time. If I'd been on time, maybe I wouldn't have ever met Andrew. Or, maybe I would've ended up in front of him in line - getting the last hot dog - and goodness knows I wouldn't have shared that with him.
The last six months hinged around that one moment. When he tore the hot dog in two, offering me half, and eventually asked me to dinner. When I said yes, even when I wasn't looking for a relationship. When Val dragged me out for margaritas the very next day, and - as fate would have it - I met him again. When I gave him a second chance.
That single moment was nothing more than a drop of water in the ocean of my life, and yet it had the power to change everything. It led me to happiness for the first time after my mother's death. It taught me to lower my walls, if only for a little while, and let someone else in.
It caused me more hurt than I thought imaginable. Danielle's manipulation cut through my life like a knife, shredding the plans I made for myself, and sent me on a downward spiral of self-destruction. I'd given up on love, on finding someone who could make me happy, and I resigned myself to the fact that Andrew and I were never meant to be.
While he refused to give up on me, while he tried desperately to stay in touch and find out what happened, I let him slip away. Afraid of what might happen if I did otherwise, I doused myself in gasoline and gladly accepted the match Danielle handed to me.
A blink of an eye. A rush decision on his part to show kindness to a stranger. A freaking hot dog brought me here, breathless and freezing in the icy New York City evening, as I stand in a crowd of screaming girls while they all shout my name. I'm shivering, not from the cold, but from the anticipation of what might happen.
Hope.
That's all I have left right now. I'm clinging to it, grasping at the sands of time as they pass through my fingertips, and praying over and over that the universe will take pity on me.
