I'll Be Your Gerard If You'll Be My Frank

Double Music

*Self inflicted pain and such is mentioned but not described*

{Gerard's POV}

Well, lunch was certainly interesting.

Mikey and I were just minding our own business when this guy shows up.

It was really random.

I saw him coming towards us.

Mikey obviously couldn't see him because he had his back to the approaching figure.

But I saw him.

He had jet black hair, shorter than mine.

His was more layered, more styled.

I'd never seen another guy with dyed hair before.

Sure, on TV and stuff but not at school.

As well as this, he had a pierced nose and lip.

Wow.

He was like the definition of cool.

I'd always wanted a piercing but since I had a phobia of needles it was a bit hard to get one.

So anyway, this guy had his eyes fixed on us but then they met my own.

I swear I felt something pass between us.

A spark or something. I'm not sure what.

Of course my embarrassment got the better of me and I had to look away.

He asked to sit with us and Mikey, being the polite person he is, let him.

I didn't really mind but I didn't want to talk to him.

That's not because I'm rude or anything like that.

I just don't like meeting new people and I'm afraid that if I talk too much all of my problems will spill out of my mouth, "Hi, I'm Gerard. I have severe depression, an eating disorder that just won't go, I self harm daily and I occasionally have suicidal thoughts but you know, life isn't perfect haha."

No.

That isn't going to happen.

Not if I can help it.

I didn't need another person to see me as the freak I am.

If I didn't start babbling, I would get attached to him.

That's what I do.

I become friends with someone, get close to them and when I trust them enough to tell them what's going on inside my head, they leave.

They always leave.

Always.

Every. Fucking. Time.

That's why I don't do it anymore.

I don't make friends anymore.

That's the reason I don't have friends.

I have Mikey but that's only because he's stuck with me.

And I guess I have Ray but he's Mikey's friend.

He doesn't care how I feel.

I basically have no friends.

How depressing is that?

It's just like the rest of my life: depressing.

No friends to talk to, to tell how I'm feeling.

I heard that talking helps.

It doesn't.

I wish I hadn't told my Mom how I feel.