I'll Be Your Gerard If You'll Be My Frank

Paranoid

{Gerard's POV}

"Hey, this is Frank. I'm either sleeping or on Pansy. So fuck off. Kidding. Leave a message."

Beep.

I sighed.

Why did he never answer his fucking phone?

I ran a hand through my hair and spoke into the receiver, "Hey, Frank. It's um... It's Gerard. I was just calling to uh check up. Are you okay? I haven't spoke to you since yesterday and I guess I'm just acting a little paranoid. Just ignore me. But um... Please call me back. I uh... I miss you. Bye."

I ended the call and mentally facepalmed.

I sounded like such a needy boyfriend.

But seriously, I needed to hear his voice.

It would reassure me that everything was okay.

Was it though?

I wasn't too sure anymore.

Frank had said everything was fine.

I felt bad admitting it but I was finding it hard to believe him.

I was certain he was keeping something from me.

Maybe I was just being paranoid.

I really hoped that was the case.

I didn't want anything to happen to Frank.

He meant the world to me.

And I wouldn't know what to do if anything happened to him.

Life wouldn't be worth living.

I'm sure it wasn't anything that bad though.

It was probably nothing.

As I said, I was just being paranoid.

I lay back on my bed and looked up at the stars.

They twinkled down at me and I wished they could tell me what to do because I honestly didn't know anymore.

I felt like I was beginning to slowly lose my mind again.

And I didn't want to head down that road again.

Never again.

I wanted to stay sane and happy.

But the only time I was ever happy was when I was with Frank.

And he wasn't returning my calls.

What could I do?

Go round and see him?

No.

That wasn't a good idea.

That might push him away even more.

His birthday was in a couple of days though and I had everything planned.

I really wished things would be okay by then so I could make it a really special day for him.

Looked like all I could do was hope for the best.

But why?

Why was he pushing me away?

Why was he shutting himself off from everyone?

Was I the problem?

Did he not love me anymore?

Maybe he had never loved me to begin with.

Maybe he had changed his mind.

I had never been good enough for him anyway.