I'll Be Your Gerard If You'll Be My Frank

Not Speaking

{Gerard's POV}

Frank hadn't spoken in days.

He just wouldn't speak.

Not since Saturday.

He just woke up on Sunday and that was it.

He was gone.

My Frank had gone.

He was still there physically but mentally...

That wasn't Frank sitting on my bed.

That was his empty shell.

Just a lost soul.

I had tried talking to him but I never got a response.

I didn't mind too much but I did miss hearing his voice.

The only time I did hear him speak was at night when he was asleep.

It was more like screaming and crying than speaking though.

Every night, he woke up screaming, tears running down his face.

This, of course, would wake me up and I would just hold him for a while until he fell back asleep.

I knew he was scared but that didn't stop me from being scared too.

I was the one who had found him.

But I had to hide the fact that I was scared and be strong for him.

I had to look after him.

I wasn't sure what to do though.

My Mom had told me to give him some space but I was scared to leave him alone.

I knew he wouldn't do anything crazy but that didn't stop me thinking that he might.

My feelings were irrational but I couldn't force myself to leave him to himself for more than fifteen minutes.

I needed to be by his side.

I didn't care how sick he got of me.

It wasn't like I had anywhere else to go anyway.

He stayed down in my room for the most part.

I knew that sitting in a dark room, wallowing, wasn't the best choice.

But I guess he saw no reason to go upstairs.

Apart from when he needed to shower or go to the toilet.

That was what I was like only a few months ago.

Before I met Frank, I would live in my room and only venture out to go to school.

I never wanted human contact of any kind.

Even a small conversation was too much for me.

I guess I'd come pretty far.

And I had Frank to thank for that.

I hated seeing him go through this sort of mental anguish.

He never wanted to do anything or talk to anyone.

He still ate though and I knew that was for my benefit.

It saddened me that even when he was at his worst, Frank still put me and my problems ahead of his own.

I could tell he didn't have the energy or patience to eat but he still did.

He finished every mouthful.

This encouraged me to as well.

Which was probably the reason he was doing it.

I sighed.