in the hopes you'll never read this

eighth

Did you know I'm scared of losing you? It's silly really, because I guess can't you lose something that wasn't ever yours in the first place.
I remember all those secrets you told me. Every single one of them. They're important, because they're a little piece of you, and for some reason, you chose to gift them to me.
Faith says you like me back. Tells me almost everyday now, in fact.
I hope you do.
My mom says I should ask you to the movies. My sister says I should ask you to be my boyfriend.
I say I should grow some balls and also quit telling my family so much.
It is a bit funny though, because even if in my head we aren't quite dating yet, I imagine what it'd be like if we were, and it's incredible, you honestly have no idea. But even so, I always know that we are just— well, what are we? Friends? Almost-boyfriend-and-girlfriend? Or just a boy and a hopeless idiot?
I do wish I knew how to ask you out. But talking to you can be hard enough, or at least, starting a conversation is. Once we actually start talking, it's so natural. I don't feel like I need to impress you or anyone when I'm talking with you.
I guess I'll just keep on waiting and see if you ask me out. And if you don't, that's okay, I had accepted that long before Faith gave me the hope that you might have a crush on me.
Until then, goodbye.