Love across the 4th Wall ~ A Mystic Messenger Story

Zen ~

(WARNING: SPOILERS FOR ZEN'S ROUTE/AFTER END AHEAD)

I had almost forgotten how her voice sounded when I found myself in my bed that night, staring unbelievingly at my phone's date and time.

The time had been...turned back. It had happened all of a sudden, I had been concentrating on my work and all of a sudden I was lying in my bed staring at my phone. I was looking at the exact same chats that I already knew from two years before. More specific, the day she'd joined RFA.

What was the meaning of this? Wasn't she happy with Yoosung? Why would she reset now? But even though it was probably the most selfish thought I ever had, I was kind of happy that she'd returned. If Yoosung wasn't the right guy for her after all, who was it then? Whom would she choose this time?

I tried to tell myself that it couldn't possibly be me. She didn't reset because of me. She resetted because...well, I didn't know why but it was definitely not because of me.

After all, she was playing Casual Mode again.

I didn't even realize how much I had missed the late night chats with her and how I was able to call her without any reason. She would laugh for me in that absolutely adorable way and we would talk about nonsense for half an hour or more.

Again, I could pretend that she actually liked me for four whole days. Four days that seemed like paradise compared to what I'd been going through the last years.

I even started eating properly and sleeping a little more than three or two hours a day for her. To be honest, I didn't know how I possibly could have endured the time without her. I needed her, just like oxygen, Honey Buddha Chips and PhD Pepper. No, I needed her even more than all those things.

I didn't dare to check whom she aimed to get. I wanted to remain believing it was me as long as possible before I got my heart broken again. It was kind of stupid but I couldn't help myself. It was just the way I felt.

Well, the dream of her liking me ended abruptly at midnight on day 5. I was staring at her progress bar and felt my heart finally breaking...again.

She chose Zen.

And the hell I had escaped for four days started all over again. It was even worse at some point since Zen didn't hesitate to declare his love and claim her as his like Yoosung did. Zen went straight forward and wasn't really secretive about his feelings. She seemed to return them just as passionately since they were usually engaged in long romantic conversations if they were online together.

I pretended to be alright just like the last time. Even though I went through the same emotions as the last time. At first I refused to believe it. And then when I realized it was real I started hating Zen just like I hated Yoosung back then. Hating him for simply being in love with her and claiming her in this audacious way.

I went through all of it all over again. Attempted distraction through work, unbalanced sleep routine, nutrition through chips and canned drinks. Along with barely appearing in the chats when the two of them were around.

Zen wanted to see her in person. Yoosung didn't dare to request that but Zen went on about how he desperately wanted her to come over to his place. It was only a few days since she started his route!

I didn't want her to go. In fact, I would've done anything to prevent their meeting but I couldn't think of a plausible reason why I should be against it that's why I had to pretend I supported it.