Love across the 4th Wall ~ A Mystic Messenger Story

Deep Mode 2 ~

It took me a few more chats to actually understand that she didn't come to Deep Mode for me. She didn't spend money in order to get my route, haha, why would she do that anyway? Why would anyone come my route, even if it was free?

No, she aimed for Jumin.

I hadn't been thrown back into four days of delusional happiness like I hoped, no, these four days turned out to be the worst four days since she first appeared here.

It felt like my joking mechanism was broken somehow. Well, it usually didn't bug me when people didn't laugh at my jokes since people usually didn't laugh at them. No, what bugged me was that she used to laugh at them and now just acted as if she didn't think I was funny at all.

I tried very hard to make her laugh, even after I noticed that it didn't seem to work anymore. I went on about having too much work and even told her the story about how I got so many bags of Honey Buddha Chips but she didn't think I was impressive at all. She didn't seem to be interested in the story and even told me she thought I was lying.

All I wanted to do was make her laugh again, maybe make her think that I am a little awesome but she kept rejecting all my attempts in such a cold way that it usually left me crying after chatting with her.

I even tried to message her privately, telling her that chatting with her was so much fun, no matter the topic, I would never get sick of it.

All she answered was that she didn't feel the same way.

That message shattered my heart even more than any other she'd sent me by then. Because it was so straight forward that there wasn't any doubt left. She obviously hated me now.

What had I done wrong? Was it still about how I had refused to tell Zen her address in the last route? Was it because I had failed to protect Yoosung on the first route?

Was she simply sick of me and my stupid jokes? Had I finally given away the last chance to win her heart?

She continued being clearly mean to me, what she'd never done before. Even when she was on other people's routes she had been either ignoring me or being moderately friendly to me. But now every message was so hate-filled that I almost wasn't able to take it.

Even though I didn't stop coming to the chats, wanting to talk to her alone. I kept telling myself that she would maybe treat me differently if we were alone but I was wrong.

Instead of worrying for me after I confessed that I had been living on Chips the last days she told me to eat all the junk I wanted. When I told her I should probably leave she said that I should just go already. When I joked about hackers being everywhere, behind her back, under her feet and in her heart she told me that I creeped her out. I tried to message her privately again, trying the "I say aww - you say yeah"-game this time but she didn't get it and answered "wtf" instead. Overall she gave me the constant impression that she was mad at me for some unknown reason.

I blamed myself for everything. I had messed up big time in the last route and this was what I deserved.

On day five at midnight when I saw that she achieved her goal of getting Jumin I slammed my laptop shut and had to pull myself together in order to not throw it against the wall.

I decided to not work tonight, I rather fell into bed, what felt extremely good after almost sleepless 50 hours.

She had reached Jumin's route. After she had it finished she would go back to Casual Mode and play Jaehee's route. And after that she would close Mystic Messenger and  u n i n s t a l l  it for good.

I had truly lost her forever.