Dear Jack

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

                       let me start by being clear that it is not me writing this letter. At the age of two and a bit, I am not skilled in sentence construction, syntax, or punctuation. So I have contracted out the job to Grandpa Owain. Daddy says he has plenty of time on his hands and it might keep him out of the pub for a while. Grandpa Owain can be quite irreverent, (Daddy says irrelevant is the right word) so please don't get upset if he is a bit rude, I cannot accept responsibility, or any claims for damages.

I should start by telling you that I have been very good this year. I consider that eating Broccoli is beyond the call of duty. I have even borne the pain of eating Brussel Sprouts. (If they are all Brussels has to offer, I'm not surprised we voted to leave the European Union!) The ones that Mummy found in the rubber plant pot had nothing to do with me, and it couldn't have been Daddy because he was farting fit to bust!

I agree that my bedroom could have been a bit tidier, but I blame Mummy for that, I will try to supervise her better in future. My nursery school reports were generally good, except for that minor skirmish with Michael (Smelly) Roberts. He started it, and I only meant to tap him lightly on the head with that toy train, it wasn't my fault he decided to stand up at just as I was on the down stroke.

We are going away for a few days before Christmas, so I have arranged, with Grandpa's help, for a builder to come and widen the chimney. Grandpa says you have a bit of a weight problem which he thinks comes from you doing nothing for most of the year, that and all the mince pies. He says you need to be careful of heart disease and diabetes, are those friends of yours? He says you're getting carrots and spring water this year, but don't worry, he'll probably be down the pub, so I'll leave you a mince pie too.

Now, on to my list, I have kept it as small as possible, we don't want to overtax those Reindeer.

One Rocking Horse. (Automatic if possible)

One Train Set complete with station and bridges.

A box set of Thomas the Tank Engine

A Zoo complete with Animals.

If you are struggling, you can leave out the box set.

So, I won't keep you, I am sure you have much to get on with. Thankyou for taking the time to read this letter, and for complying with my requests. Grandpa says not to worry if you get something wrong, we have your address.

Thanking you in expectation

Love Jack