Dear Jack

Letter 3 Restraint

Dear Jack,

How are you?

We need to have a short discussion on the subject of restraint, it is not a word you will hear me use often, a bit like Monarchy, and both tend to bring me out in a rash!

However, there are times we need to use things to our advantage. Your Uncle Daniel, you know, the one with a Porsche and huge prospects? Well, he sent me a picture of your dad with poop all down his shirt, of course I laughed like a drain, a clean drain, I might add. I never liked that shirt, I always thought it made him look like an off-duty vicar who had not much of a collection.

Anyhow, the next day, your Dad, and I, had a Skype conversation, the sort where we can see each other, ( I know, but he is my son and I do have to talk to him) he looked grim, tired beyond belief. I know I told you to run them ragged, but you seem to be being a little over zealous, ( No, it has nothing to do with Zebras) My point is, that you need to exercise a little restraint. Let them get SOME sleep, as soon as they have recovered, and think they have won, we will soon teach them it was temporary, besides which, there is a much more important reason.

It is December, and it will soon be Christmas, and Father Christmas will be watching He is the fat guy who wears the same clothes all the time, and has this unhealthy relationship with horned animals. The point is, that it is him that delivers all our Christmas presents, ( The ones we want, with any luck) So, during the month of December, and only during that month, it is in our interests to be seen to be good.

Besides which, I need them to have the energy to concentrate on my presents, and while we are on the subject, try dropping hints about how I love foreign travel, you never know.

Anyway, I have to go, there are a couple of jehovas witnesses at the door and i could do with a good swear.

lots of love

Grandpa Owain