Dear Jack

Letter7 On Birthdays and Other Celebrations.

Dear Jack,

                    I am sorry to have missed your third birthday this year. We were all set for the train journey, but when we arrived at the station there was a large crowd outside waving banners. When I went inside to show my ticket I was informed there were no trains running as the drivers had gone on strike. I was not happy, to say the least. It transpired that the crowd outside waving banners were the selfsame striking drivers. Not being of a particularly shy disposition, I went outside to try and discover what horrors had been perpetrated on these poor souls to make them take such drastic action. I approached a very large man with an even larger banner which boasted; 'Support the downtrodden workers in their fight against oppression' Underneath in smaller letters it read 'All kontribushions gratefly akcepted' I approached this individual who didn't look overly oppressed, but I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. "What have they done, sir, have they cancelled Christmas, or something?" "No mate" he responded, "They have stopped our donut rations, and we ain't accepting that!! means we have to pay for them ourselves, and that's bloody expensive. I was absolutely speechless, a first for me, I might add. Being a man of the world I realised discretion was required in this delicate situation. So, in my most sympathetic voice I said, "Look, comrade, it is important that I get a train to London to visit my grandson on his birthday, what if I pop up to the bakers and buy you guys a big box of chocolate and jelly donuts? would that fix the issue? The response to my generous offer was not quite what I had expected; the ungrateful sod turned to his starving colleagues and shouted, "This ere toff is trying to bribe us brothers, he wants me to cross this ere picket line, let's duff him up!" At this point your grandmother, who had been searching her purse to find a two pence piece to put in their collection bucket pulled me away, loudly explaining that I was senile with countless other ailments. Discretion being the better part of valour I started dribbling so as not to make her look a fool. Needless to say we did not travel.

Thankfully the advent of online shopping, which is only slightly more frightening than actual shopping, allowed me to get your birthday present delivered to your house in good time. I am delighted that you liked the large Fire Engine that shoots actual water, though I understand your bedraggled Dad was not quite as impressed. I cannot understand why he thinks it's my fault that the neighbours evacuated their house on two occasions because of the sound of the siren, and one would of thought they had enough sense to turn off the cooker before fleeing. Oh well, such is life.

Christmas is almost upon us and it seems that your Dad is not happy about me buying you a drum kit, so I shall have to think of something else.

I have to go now as there are some people singing Christmas carols outside the front door, shame it's not raining.

Give my love to your new sister, Jack, and if I am allowed on the train again I'll pop up and see you.

Love, Grandpa Owain