3 weeks

6

2 & a half weeks....

I couldn't help but stare at the calendar for what seemed to be hours this morning. 2 & a half weeks. If the doctors were right, I had less than 3 weeks to live. Doctors aren't always right, are they? I mean, even they can be wrong sometimes. This was one of those times I really hoped they were wrong. I had too much left to do. Too much I still needed to see. A lot of things I still wanted to do with Jordan. 

I tried to not bring it up around the guys. It never worked though. One of them always ended up bringing it up. I never knew what to say to make them feel better. I knew what it felt like to be given your death sentence, but I'd never been in their shoes. I'd never been the one who had to watch someone I love die. It had to be hard. Probably one of the hardest things they've ever done in their lives. 

I pulled myself together and headed downstairs, sneaking up behind Jordan. I slipped my arms around him from behind and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. "I love you." I whispered against his skin. 

He smiled and placed his hands on top of mine "I love you too, baby." 

"Awwwwwwww!" The others shouted when they heard us, playfully tossing a towel at my head. 

I was glad to see at least somethings didn't change. In a lot of ways the guys still treated me like they always had. Which I was thankful for. 

"So what's on the agenda for today?" I asked. 

"Well, we thought we'd all sleep outside under the stars. Watch the sun set and the sun rise" Jordan said, taking my hand in his and lacing our fingers together. 

A smile slowly graced my lips at the mention of sleeping under the stars. I knew what they were doing. They were trying to help me do everything on my bucket list. 

"I can't wait." I said softly, bringing Jordan's hand up to my lips. Pressing a kiss over each knuckle slowly. 

We spent the day watching movies, cuddling on the couch. It was honestly my idea of a perfect day. Now, we were all outside, watching the sunset.

It wasn't long until Jordan came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me from behind. I sighed softly, shaking my head. In all my years on this earth I'd never saw something quite so beautiful. 

"Thank you all for being here with me now" I said, looking around at my best friends. 

"You don't have to thank us for anything" Lee said, moving closer to us. "There is nowhere else we'd rather be than here with you guys. We love you both so much and will be here for both of you for whatever you want or need"

I could feel my eyes well up with tears and I took in a deep breath, trying to compose myself. "I love you guys so much. I never thought I'd be in this position right now. I never thought I'd be faced with the thought of dying so soon." I stopped for a moment, trying to keep myself from breaking down. Once I thought I'd be okay, I decided to continue. "I need you guys to do me a favor, please take care of Jordan after I'm gone. I don't think I could rest in peace unless I knew he was taken care of.." 

Jordan was crying by this time and he buried his head in the curve of my neck. "I don't want to think about you not being here with me everyday." He started, the tears starting to come faster now. "I love you, Oli. I can't imagine not having you with me all the time. I don't know how I'm going to live without you.." His voice trailed off and my heart broke. 

This was killing me. I didn't want to die, and knowing how hard my family was taking this just made it harder for me. 

"You don't have to worry, we're going to take care of him. He's not going to be alone. That's a promise." Matt said. 

I gave Jordan's hand a light squeeze, and took a shaky breath "I hate this...I hate that this is happening. I hate I'm putting all of you through this. It's not right and it's not fare. I'm so sorry." I cried. 

Lee shook his head "Oli, this isn't your fault. It's not like you woke up one day and said, I think I'm going to give myself a terminal illness so I can die and leave all the people I love. You've done nothing wrong.." He said. 

I knew he was right, but it didn't help the pain I was feeling. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, smiling softly. I was a lucky guy. I had the best friends anyone could ever ask for. And I had the most amazing man in my life. A man who I loved more than anything else in this world. What else could I ask for? More time. That's all I really wanted. I wanted more time to be with my family. I needed that time. Christmas was getting closer and I hoped I was still here to celebrate with them. I didn't know what was going to happen, so I was going to treat everyday like it was my last. 

"I hope you're still here for Christmas..." Jordan said softly, sniffling as he looked up at me. 

"I know, baby. I do too." I said softly. 

"Well hey" Lee started "How about we celebrate it a little early just in case? Like, we'll still celebrate it that day too, but we can have two days of celebrating." 

Everyone grinned and nodded. I think they liked the idea. 

"I like that idea" I began "That way just in case I don't make it...." My voice trailed off. God, this was hard.