Ashley's Asylum (3)

17 | Ashley's Asylum

Ashley watched furtively as Sam came and sat on the second sofa in the living room. Neither of them had turned on any lights, and so Ashley's eyes had naturally adapted to the dark as the daylight had gently faded. Only the soft blue glow of the CD player illuminated the surrounding area.

The large windows enabled a view of the sky. With no light pollution around, the stars were visibly scattered in their millions although Ashley could only catch glimpses through patches of trees. She could almost imagine a family curled up here, watching Christmas films, enjoying the whimsical anticipation of Santa Claus. Almost. Her situation made her bear ill feelings towards her surroundings. The clear, vastness of the sky and forest exhibited a loneliness and the quiet was unnerving.

Ashley glanced in Sam's direction to see him rubbing his left bicep. He had his jeans back on thankfully, although had neglected a top. After the tense moment in the bathroom, she had left him without a further word. She didn't want to be around Sam, every moment in his company ended up uncomfortable, violent or sexual. He said he didn't want to hurt her, if he thought she would believe him he was more deluded than she first deliberated. Being alone with him always held a bad consequence. Every sip of whisky he took led her closer to a bigger conflict.

"This is sad, isn't it" he murmured suddenly.

They met eyes when he turned his head to look at her with a dreary smile.

"The last time I was here, everyone was still alive." He looked towards the window. "I remember Jessica, Tammy and Hadie moaned because we watched the Grinch again, but I liked it because it reminded them every year that Christmas was about family. And my..." he paused and swallowed before looking down. "Well everyone was still here."

His expression relapsed into darkness as he sat back further in the chair. "Now look. I'm alone. So damaged I can't even pretend anymore. Hunted like an animal. Probably never safe from police or your brother" he waved a hand at the darkness.

"Not even safe from each other" Ashley added feebly.

Sam bowed his head to her. "Not even that."

Ashley sat forward. Not even that. They both understood their positions. Sam could betray his own words at any given moment and she could attack him if he closed his eyes for a moment too long. She looked out of the window, deep into the darkness of the trees and considered bleakly how empty that made her feel.

"You're right, it is sad" she agreed, sharing his wretchedness.

They happened to catch one another's eye and Ashley swallowed thickly before she ventured to ask him a question that had been bothering her since the beginning. "What happened... to them?"

Sam leant his head back till it rested on the back of the sofa. His eyes struggled for somewhere to focus and eventually diverted themselves to the ceiling.

"I found out they were dead the same way everyone else did. I saw it on the news" he mumbled. "Michael said it was some trick, to get us to go back. I wanted to believe him, especially when they showed pictures of them on the nine o'clock news. Pictures of their bodies, like they were nothing. Like they didn't mean shit. Pictures of my home, covered in blood. They were little girls, my Jess was only six."

Ashley nodded. "I know, I saw them," she glanced down into her lap.

Sam chuffed. "Of course you did. Everybody did."

"It wasn't right," Ashley confirmed quickly. She believed that too, the idea of finding out her own family were dead like that made her feel sick.

After a moment's silence, he leant his head back up. "It's still my fault. I went on the run, left them behind, thought they'd be alright."

"Why did you leave them?" Ashley asked quietly.