sentient // phan

http//: 19

"Phil! Phil, Phil, Phil..." Dan whisper-yelled, jumping onto my bed. I pretended to groan as he flopped on top of me. "Phiiiiiilll." He said. I turned over, pulling my blanket over my head in a futile attempt to pretend to be asleep. The truth was that I had been awake since he had been, at 6 am. I had snuck away and placed my present under the tree, marked "From Santa" then tiptoed back into my room.

"What do you want?" I tried to act serious but I began to smile.

"It's Chriiiiiistmas, Phil." He said, turning over so that his lips were on my ear. I grinned, imagining myself wrapping my arms around him, kissing him, never letting go. But I just looked up at him, his bright smile inches away from mine.

"Is it? I didn't realise." He chuckled, pressing his forehead to mine.

"Your gift to me can be some nice, Christmasy pancakes." He whispered. He pulled away a second before I was about to close the space between us. I should have said something to Dan these past few weeks. I should have told him that I loved him. But I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Dan jumped off of me, running from the room like a little kid. I flung my blankets off and followed him, spotting him kneeling at the tree.

"Santa?" He questioned, looking up at my, my gift in his hands. I shrugged, but he smiled.

Setting up the tree was quite the experience. Considering he hadn't set up a Christmas tree since he was very young and I hadn't know they even existed until a few days previous, we had to do our best. Luckily, most of the tree was self-assembling, and all we had to do was put on the ornaments and the star.

"No gifts until after breakfast." I chuckled. He pretended to pout but stood, coming over to the breakfast bar.

"You didn't have to get me anything." He said, running his finger along the marble counter to make himself spin. I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't. It was Santa." I lit the stove and rested the pan on it, pouring my mixture onto it with a hiss. "Besides, the first thing you said to me when we became friends was that I have to get you a Christmas present." I flipped the pancake with my spatula and pressed down. Dan spun a few more times, eyeing me as I made another.

"You're doing it wrong." Dan said, propping his elbows in the counter, resting his chin on his hands. I turned to him, a hand on my hip.

"If you know so much, why don't you do it?" I pointed my spatula at him and he raised his hands in surrender.

"Just saying. You should flip it in the pan. It would look cool." I nodded and tried, making the cake fall to the group with a "plop". Dan and I looked at each other for a second, then burst out laughing.

"Oops." I chuckled. He just smiled, looking at me. "What?" I asked, pouring the last of the batter onto the pan. He just sighed.

"This is so much fun." He said. He suddenly looked away, looking down at his hands in his lap.

"I'm glad we're friends." I said. He was silent. I placed my two non-dropped pancakes on a plate, with strawberries and green grapes to add a Christmas flair, chuckling to myself. I set the plate in front of him, and he quickly began to eat. He made a full-mouthed sound of approval, nodding quickly. He swallowed his last bite and set down his silverware.

"Great. Now we get to open gifts!" Dan squealed, pushing his plate toward me and getting up. I let out a laugh and set the plate in the sink, following him quickly. He sat in front of the tree and raised a gift to me.

"Merry Christmas, Phil." He said. I took a seat next to him, holding the gift in my hands, examining it. "Are you going to make me beg?" Dan chuckled. "Open it!"

"You didn't have to-"

"Philip. Open it." I pulled apart the wrapping paper and several items fell into my hands. A canvas, several paint brushes, and three tubes of paint. I just stared at them.

"Dan..." I looked up to him, my mouth hanging open. He smiled, questioningly.

"Do you like it?"

"Are you kidding? I love it!" I collapsed into his arms and quickly pulled away, pushing his gift toward him. He grinned, pulling the paper away. He gave me a confused look.

"Thanks. What is it?"

"It's called a stereo. There's also compact discs in there of some music I think you'd like. It's really vintage. You gave an interview a few years ago saying you liked this kind of music but you hadn't heard it in a while because they don't sell it anymore. So here you go." He grinned and hugged me tightly.

He pulled away slightly and looked into my eyes. This was it. This was the moment I would tell him.

"Dan, I..." I started, but I couldn't think of what to say. So I did what I wanted to do. I leaned in to kiss him.

But to my horror, he pulled away.

"Phil, don't do this." He mumbled, his arms still around my neck.

"Why? I want to be with you." I tried to kiss him again but he got up.

"Phil, think about this. If... if you still want to be with me tomorrow, then we can be together. But think it through." I got up too, crossing my arms.

"I don't want to think it through. I want to kiss you!" But he turned away from me, hugging himself.

The doorbell rang, breaking the awkward silence, making me drop my arm that I was reaching out to Dan.

"I'll get it." I grumbled, and I left.