sentient // phan

http//: 21

I looked down into the cup of hot chocolate that Martyn's mum had forced into my hands in order to avoid the stares given to me by all the people in the room. I grinned up at them, awkwardly, then looked down at my fingers clutching the mug again. There was the sound of a cup being set down on a plate and someone cleared their throat.

"Why don't you try the hot chocolate, Phil? It's wonderful." The man said. I smiled sheepishly.

"I'd love to, Mr. Lester-"

"Please, call me Sean." He interrupted. I smiled again and continued.

"I'd love to, Sean, but I can't." He raised an eyebrow and I looked down. "I'm a droid, and I can't consume anything." Almost immediately, Mrs. Lester hopped up and rounded on Martyn, who flinched away.

"Martyn, dear. A word. Now." She growled through her teeth, smile still intact. Martyn lowered his face and followed her into the hall while I avoided looking anywhere.

Anywhere is better than home with Dan. But this is unbearable. I felt all five pairs of eyes trained on me as Mrs. Lester failed to chastise her son quietly.

"First you bring a man who looks exactly like my dead son into my home- on Christmas, might I add-, next I find out his name is Phillip too, and then he tells he a robot. You brought a robot named Phil with black hair and blue eyes into my home on Christmas." I could practically taste the anger in the air in that hallway.

"Mum, he had nowhere to go. He would have frozen out there."

"Martyn, he is a robot. He would have been fine." I stood, quickly, setting my mug down on the coffee table.

"Well, it truly has been wonderful but I'm going to go, I hate to impose on your hospitality any longer." I made to leave, but Martyn and Mrs. Lester appeared in the doorway before I could. Apparently the conversation had continued beyond what I could hear. Mrs. Lester looked down, but addressed me.

"Would you like to see his room?" I shook my head, grinning awkwardly.

"No, no, thank you, I really have to go-"

"Please. Please just come look-"

"No, it's okay I was just on my way out-"

"Phil-"

"-and I don't want to disturb you-"

"Phillip Micheal Lester you come here right now!" Mrs. Lester screeched. I bowed my head and quickly went to her. Everyone gasped quietly, but Mrs. Lester continued. "My son, Phil, he went missing about a year ago. And Martyn seems to think you are him. I don't know how that's possible but I want to see for myself. So-" she snapped her fingers and pointed to her feet, "-come here."

I followed her quickly and watched as she pushed open a door at the end of the hall. Martyn crossed his arms and watched in rapt fascination, and his mother stepped back and gestured me inside. I took a step in.

Something deep inside me told me this place was very, very familiar. I ran my hand gently along the wall, edges of posters and pictures folding beneath my fingers, bubbles in the wallpaper shifting as I put pressure on them.

The sheets were soft and worn and the ceiling was covered in posters. I looked up, turning on the spot slowly. My mouth hung open in wonder, my eyes falling on the window. I pressed my hand against it, gazing outside for a second before turning to Martyn and his mum. "You still think you're going to find him?" I asked. Martyn sighed.

"You don't give up on the people you love." I nodded, turning to look out on the window.

I made a promise to Dan. I said I'd be there. I said I'd help him, even if it meant I didn't love him. And whether or not I loved him didn't affect how much I liked to be his friend, how kind he was, how smart. I wasn't going to give up on him. I shouldn't have walked out on him and I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want me back. But if he did, then I'd have to forgive him.

Everyone makes mistakes. Dan made a pretty bad one, but that shouldn't cancel out everything nice he's done for me. Even if the feeling is fake, I still loved him. And I wanted to talk to him.

"I have to go." I mumbled, turning away from the window.

"We know." Mrs. Lester said. I went over to them, hugging them both tightly. "Phil." Mrs. Lester whispered. I grinned.

"You're welcome back any time." Martyn squeezed me, then pulled back. Now, Mrs. Lester hugged me alone.

"I think you are him." She mumbled.

"I hope I am."

We went into the lounge to find the rest of the Lesters crowded around the window, whispering to each other excitedly.

"What is it?" I asked, moving behind them.

"It's real rain." A small girl squealed. My eyes opened wide in shock, and I ran to the window beside them.

"Rain? In the winter? Mind blowing." Someone else said, rubbing away the steam on the window with his sleeve. I just rubbed my forehead as they all spoke about the anomaly.

Rain meant water, and water meant electrocution. And I couldn't risk incapacitating myself. Not if I wanted to find Dan alive. Going out there would mean short circuiting, and I couldn't risk it.

I shouldn't risk it.

But I still felt myself turning to the family who had taken me in on Christmas, who believed me to be a part of them, who I felt closer to than anyone in the world besides Dan and it had been mere hours, and spoke to them.

"I have to go find someone."