O7 | compelled

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I came home right after that

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I came home right after that. I admit — I have a slight anger problem. But this time, I was able to control it.

When I got home, I convinced myself that I don't need anyone now that I have Rosalanea in my life. She's my guardian angel; she's here to protect me.

I don't need Blair or Chase. I definitely don't need my parents.

Walking into the kitchen, I grab a vase. I fill it with water and put the beautiful flower Rosalanea gave to me in it. I place the vase on the windowsill in my bedroom.

It looks breathtaking.

Around 10-o'clock, I sit in front of the family computer. I decide to start working. I'm not normal — I'm homeschooled, meaning I take online courses. I stopped going to a regular school a little over three months ago, when my therapist recommended it.

After a good seven and a half hours of studying with miniature breaks in between, I smile. It's 5:30, meaning that soon, I can go to the Other World.

Getting up, I shutdown the computer and walk to my room. For about twenty minutes, I simply lay down on my bed and listen to music.

Music always makes me feel calm. It gives me a moment to reflect on everything.

I think about Rosalanea. When I was younger, I saw her in the mirror. She told me that she was here to be my friend.

For hours, I would sit in the living room and converse with her. She became my best friend.

However, when my parents heard about her, they weren't pleased whatsoever. They banned me from entering the living room, and locked it. It remained inaccessible for the next three years.

By the time I was nine, my parents hand convinced me that Rosalanea was just an imaginary friend, and I believed them. Since then, I blocked out the memory of her, and nearly forgot. But now that I know that she's real, everything seems clear.

I also think about Jake. I miss him so much. I remember how inseparable we were as young children. I loved him, and still do. I simply can't seem to let him go.

When he died, everything changed. My parents grieved by becoming workaholics and alcoholics. I grieved by shutting myself away from the world — this darkness constantly looms over me, and it feels like I'm suffocating.

I begin to cry. I'm just so tired of being sad. I decide that sometimes, it's okay to let your walls fall.

By 6-o'clock, I get up. I walk to the bathroom and wash my face. Then, I go to the living room.

I stand in front of the mirror. My eyes are red and puffy, but I ignore it. I get ready to enter the Other World.

I've been feeling compelled to enter once again. It's as if I can't stay away. Excitement builds up inside of me, and I find myself wanting to meet Rosalanea.

Smiling, I take a few steps forwards. But little do I know, I'm starting something I won't be able to finish.

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