Love Me So I Don't Have To - COMPLETED

0.4

Christmas is so weird. Well, to me it is. I don't celebrate it. I'm like an outsider decked out in holiday camouflage, hoping to fit in with the masses. Although I either don't need the camouflage or I'm doing a good job at blending in because most people are surprised whenever I tell them I don't celebrate Christmas.

Some are respectful. No rude questions asked. No absurd outbursts. No wide eyes and looking at me like I'm not human. As for the others, they are the opposite whether it is to my face or behind my back.

These people tend to respond with outlandish or melodramatic body language -occasionally accompanied with a hand to their chest and a gaping mouth as if I've offended them and their whole being. Some ask me how I have survived my past 16 years without expecting a gift or two from a fat, old tresspasser whom of which always seems to be happy for God knows what reason.

Many ask why I don't. Then, I have to say that my parents are Muslim. I always specify the fact that my parents are and not my family. I am atheist. My sister, who the fuck knows. My dad's side of the family is Christian as hell. No pun intended. My mother's side is presumably Muslim, as well.

Also, my mother hates white people and Christians. And Obama. And America. She's racist. Anywho.

Some people are curious and ask what I do celebrate: Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years, St. Patrick's Day, Mardi Gras, Valentine's, etc. I cry on Election Day if that counts as celebrating. We basically celebrate anything with no correlation to religion.

On the seven month anniversary of my fantastic relationship with my boyfriend, I spent most of my day with him. He was going to a Christmas party with his family later in the day. I began to wonder what people wear to X-Mas parties. Do they slap on a Santa hat and an ugly sweater and call it a day? Or do some go all out? Or do people just wear normal clothes like normal people on a normal day? I never got an answer.

I've realized something. I've never had eggnog. I've never decorated a tree. Never had one been in our house. I never knew what to do with the ornaments I used to make as a child in school during the holiday season. I have always replied with "nothing" or "sleeping" when asked what I'm doing for the holidays. For the past four years, I always forget I don't have martial arts practice during the holidays. I don't know any Christmas carols. I always feel awkward when people give me presents. Christmas has got me fucked up.

I dig those candy canes, though.

Happy Holidays.